What Frightens Me About the Yankees

I'm going to try and keep this pretty short and sweet today since I'm sure everyone's already sick of reading previews for the Yankees/Tigers series. 

Colin Cowherd will not shut up today that the Tigers have no chance against the Yankees. That shouldn't surprise anyone because Cowherd has the brain of a dead squirrel. But most experts agree that the Yanks are the superior team. None of this bothers me because none of these "experts" have watched one Tigers game this season, I'm willing to bet. The Tigers match up with the Bombers just fine.

The Yankee "mystique" doesn't bother me either. Curses, ghosts, mystique, and the other mumbo jumbo the Fox/TBS announcers will be babbling about this postseason are nothing but creations of the media. They matter about as much to baseball games as the Easter Bunny does.

And God's only son, Derek Jeter, doesn't scare me. Any sane person knows that Jeter is only a shadow of the overrated player he used to be. The same goes for Jorge Posada. Only Granderson and Tex really scare me in their lineup. Maybe Cano.

No, what worries me, especially for tonight, is what I call "Yankee-ball". The Yankees are famous for their patience and fouling balls off. This is the kryptonite to Justin Verlander's Superman act. If the Yankees work counts and foul pitches off, they could easily have JV up to 100 pitches by the 5th or 6th inning. That's why Justin has to be aggressive, yet smart tonight. And if JV leaves early, the Tigers have decided to take Brad Penny for long relief because they are stupid. We're screwed, then.

The other aspect of "Yankee-ball" is the slowing down of the game. If an opposing offense starts gaining momentum, the NY pitcher will slow down. The catcher will visit the mound. Then the pitching coach. Then Girardi. This is why Yankee games all take 4 1/2 hours to play and umpires let them get away with it because they're all too busy asking Jeter if they can have an autograph or smell his penis. The Tigers must not let this silly nonsense rattle them.

The Tigers must avoid "Yankee-ball" if they can, not get rattled by the Vinny's and Joey's in that filthy Yankee crowd, and just play their own game.

If they do that, they could sweep this sumbitch. Screw Cowherd and the other media haters.

I'll talk to you all after the game.