Media Part 3: The Best/Worst of Local Coverage

To finish up my week of listing my picks for best and worst in media, I’d like to focus on local coverage. I have to admit that my choices are limited to Tiger media due to the fact that I couldn’t care less about the Lions, Wings, or Pistons. Sorry, the Tigers are the only good thing about Detroit, other than the cheap and desperate hookers. (Twenty-nine or two for fiddy…)

On a quick note, no I did not forget Rod and Mario. I don’t mind them, but I’m not in love or hate with either guy. So they won’t be listed here. They're okay in my book, though, if you insist on a comment.

With that in mind, let’s dive into this so I can go back to my normal stupid activities around here.

Dan Dickerson, Tigers Radio PBP Announcer

Dan’s the best play-by-play man the Tigers have to offer and one of the best of all time, I think. No one can fill the gigantic shoes of legendary Ernie Harwell, but Dan’s still a heck of a talent. No offense to Mario Impemba, who is harmless, but I’d love to hear Dan calling games on television for a change. He just has "it", as they say. 

Bless You Boys, Internet

Kurt Mensching likes soccer, the X-Games, and thinks that Scott Sizemore planned 9/11. But if you put all that out of your mind, the guy and his BYB crew are the best anywhere in Tiger coverage, in my humble opinion. BYB’s the only site I completely trust in non-Sizemore matters and they hit on all cylinders, whether it be minor league coverage, series previews, analysis, or whatever. Kurt, Al, David, Alli, and the two Matts are the best of the best and should be required daily reading for you all.

MLive, Internet

Huh? Yeah, I said MLive. In the past year or so, MLive has become a punching bag among online Tiger fans, but it’s not due to the people that write here. Chris Iott and Matt Sussman are constantly updating with news and notes over there, with friend of DNR Ian Casselberry chiming in, as well. It’s a shame that 90% of the folks that leave comments there seem to be brain damaged mental patients…those guys deserve better. Well, except when Bill Simonson shows up…but we’ll save him for later.

Lynn Henning, The Detroit News

Again…HUH? Yeah, I bust on Henning. But I give him credit for one thing…he doesn’t always go with popular opinion. Right now at the News and Freep, you’ll see a bunch of articles on why Magglio Ordonez should be taken out and shot. But Henning (rightfully) realizes that Maggs can still contribute off the bench and in a leadership capacity. Henning thinks outside the box and that’s something lacking in our mainstream media choices nowadays. Sure, he’s often a shill for the Tiger front office, but I’ll deal with that as long as he keeps the occasional original, non-conformist piece coming every now and then. After all, Lynn was the only person that shared my opinion that the Granderson trade was a good thing at the time. And anyone that shares my opinions can’t be all bad. (Yes they can.)

Jason Beck, Tiger reporter, Twitter

No one on the Tigers can fart without Beck knowing. He’s informative, reliable, and your top source if someone’s walking around the CoPa in a Tony Phillips or Mickey Tettleton jersey.

Matthew B. Mowery, Oakland Press, Twitter

Mowery’s the most active Tiger writer on Twitter and he’s always full of news, wit, and insight. If you’re not following him on Twitter, I highly suggest you do.


Drew Sharp, Detroit Free Press

I can’t stand Drew Sharp. Even on rare occasions where I agree with him, I still want to head butt the guy in the nose. Not sure what it is, but something about the guy just constantly pisses me off.

Mitch Albom, Detroit Free Press

Mitch probably could have been considered for the national worst list, but I felt like putting him here. He’s a phony. A fraud. A piece of shit. He is Rick Reilly times a thousand. Go to this link to read Ken Tremendous of FJM fame summing up exactly how I feel about Mitch Albom. Asshole. My least favorite person in sports writing anywhere.

Jim Price, Tigers Radio Analyst

The art of pitching…gotcha. Price is awful. He thinks he knows everything and talks down to the audience. We get it…you were on the ’68 team. Good for you. And like Rod Allen with the ’84 team, no one cares you were on it. At least Rod has some charm. Jim Price is just unlikable.

Bill Simonson and all local sports radio guys

The Troll King’s pieces at MLive should be no shock to anyone on how bad they always are. George Carlin used to do a bit in every town he visited where he’d ask how the local tap water was and every time, people would all boo and say how terrible it was. That’s how local sports talk guys are. I’ve yet to meet a person from anywhere in the country to tell me how great the local schmucks are. Here in Toledo, OH, it’s the same. I often listen to sports talk radio in my car since I can’t stand most of the local music stations, and also, it gives me more to complain about. And they local guys constantly get facts wrong, are clueless to current events in sports, and generally sound like they were pulled off the street with no training. The main guy sounds drunk all the time and never has anything good to say. And I think that’s true of all of them. They never point out the good. That’s bad for ratings. Only the bad. They should all be shot out of a catapult into one of the Great Lakes. Especially Simsonson. I would rather pound my testicles with a wooden mallet than listen to his warped opinions on Tiger baseball. Although, I do enjoy making fun of him…

DesigNate Robertson, Internet

Awful. Just awful. Was funny once or twice. Now, just the same recycled happy horseshit. Die in a fire, DNR. You hack.

With that out of the way, we head toward the season’s stretch run. Can’t wait to see what’s in store.