Funnies ...Old Farts, Letters of Complaint, The Black Hole.

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Ahhhh - Memories, Memories ......



Hi There,

From an 'Old Fart' to my 'Old Fart' friends ......

'Old Farts' are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem. Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them. Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbour , Guadalcanal , Normandy and Hitler.

They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady.

Old Farts trust strangers and are courtly to women. Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies. Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity.

They seldom brag unless it's about their children or grandchildren. It's the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country. Their country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values.

Pass this on to all the "Old Farts" you know - I was taught to respect my elders ... and I do! It's just getting harder to find them.

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  • The following wee doohickeys are genuine clips from complaints letters from council tenants to the council offices ......

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

3. it’s the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow.


4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.


5. And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.


6. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.


7. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?


8. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.


9. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it, yesterday, and now she is pregnant


10. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.


11. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.


12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.


13. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.



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Watch out for the Black Hole ......





Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.