Funnies ...

Did you know that dogs are the only beings on earth who love you more than they love themselves ...

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Do you know which human body part when stimulated increases in size by ten times?

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, 'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?'No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, 'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the Principal, who will then fire you!'Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, 'Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?'

Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, 'Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!' The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, 'Anybody?' Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously and said, 'The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.' Mrs. Parks said, 'Very good, Billy,’ then turned to Mary and continued. 'As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:

One, you have a dirty mind.
Two, you didn't read your homework.
And three, one day you are going to be very, VERY disappointed.'

Ticket Please ...

Three lawyers and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, each of the three lawyers buys a ticket while the three engineers buy only one ticket. “How can the three of you travel on one ticket?” asks a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer Aboard the train the lawyers take their respective seats while all three engineers cram into the restroom and squeeze the door closed behind them. When the conductor comes around collecting tickets, he knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers are impressed with this clever idea. One the way home from the conference, they decide to copy the engineers’ technique. At the station, they buy a single ticket for their return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all “How in the hell are you going to pull this off?” asks a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. They board the train. The three lawyers cram into one restroom and the three engineers cram into the other restroom. Shortly after the train departs, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and knocks on the other restroom door. “Ticket, please!”

Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx...