Spaghatta Nadle Pahrt Sahx!!

I wanted to make one more Spaghatta Nadle post before the weekend is over and I have to go back to posting normal stuff.  And when I say "normal stuff" I mean "Posts that have more words than pictures, but also have pictures.  But definitely more words."

Remember those posts?  Me too.  They haven't gone away, I promise.  But for now, here's more Spaghatta Nadle, you wonderful freaks:



The DNR 25: #9 Justin Verlander

Full Name
Justin Brooks Verlander
DOB
2/20/83

College
Old Dominion University

Drafted
2004, 1st Round, 2nd Pick, Detroit Tigers

MLB Seasons
2005-present

Tiger Seasons
2005-present

Career Stats
65-43, 3.92 ERA, 840 IP, 746 K, 116 ERA+


Career Leaderboard
AL All Star (2007, 2009)
2006 AL Rookie of the Year
2007:  No Hitter (6/12/07)
2007:  5th in Cy Young Voting
2008:  1st in Losses (17)
2009:  1st in Strikeouts (269)
2009:  1st in Innings Pitched (240.0)
2009:  1st in Wins (19)
2009:  3rd in Cy Young voting

Best Tiger Season
2009 was disappointing for the Tigers in how their season ended, but for Justin Verlander, the season was a statement that he had arrived as a certified pitching ace.  He went 19-9 with an ERA of 3.45 and an ERA+ of 133.  He led the league in starts, innings, batters faced, wins, and strikeouts.  With Justin on the mound, you couldn’t help thinking that the Tigers were going to win that day.  Well, they’d win if they could score more than two runs…

Little Known Fact
Justin became the first Major League starter in 24 years to load the bases with nobody out in the ninth inning or later and get out of it without allowing a run when he pulled off the feat July 24, 2009.


Reason For Being On The List
I don’t love many things in life.  It’s just how I am.  I love my mom and my son.  I love “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia”.  I love Bacardi rum.  For some reason, I think I’m in love with Lady Gaga.  And dammit, I love Justin Verlander.
He’s the best pitcher I’ve ever seen in a Tiger uniform.  From the evil stare he gives on the mound to the 98 mph+ heaters he throws, I just am in awe of the guy.  To this day, I’m amazed that he plays for Detroit, almost like it’s some sort of mistake.  I mean, the Tigers don’t get pitchers like this.  I’ve lived through pitching staffs with aces like Bill Gullickson, Mike Moore, and Mike Maroth.  But this guy?  Good gawd…
JV is the only pitcher in baseball history to toss a no-hitter, start a World Series game, be a Rookie of the Year and an All-Star in his first two full seasons.  If that doesn’t get you excited as a fan, you are either crazy or Lynn Henning.
I was overjoyed to see JV get his extension this offseason.  The impartial analyst side of me was trying to rationalize to myself that it was too many years or we could wait a bit longer.  But the Tiger fan inside of me was jumping up and down like a hyperactive six year old. 

What Happened To Him?
He is the ace of the Tigers pitching staff and looking to show in 2010 that he is truly one of the best pitchers in baseball.  With any luck this year, he will win his first Cy Young Award and be the World Series MVP.  Hey, it could happen…

Info ripped off of baseball-reference.com and Wikipedia. 
Pics via Google.


Cat Surprise / Quotes / Flooded ...

Hi Folks,


The Kohl's Shopping Trip ......

(This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply couldn't make this stuff up!)

Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit..no flies, no smell.. What business could that poor kitty have had here?' murmured Ellen..' Come on, Ellen, let's just go...' But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining,

'I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll use this tissue.. .' She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it. They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose that new-car smell.

They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to K & W Cafeteria. They went through the serving line and sat down at a window table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's bag still on the trunk. BUT not for long! As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car.. She looked quickly this way and that, and then took the Kohl's bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision.. Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement.

It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. 'Can you imagine?' finally sputtered Ellen.. 'The nerve of that woman!' Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the female thief. Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red gingham shirt with the Kohl's bag hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier.

Helplessly they watched the scene unfold: After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.

Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver. A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived.

In a matter of minutes, the woman with the red gingham shirt emerged, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney. Two well-trained EMT volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings. The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the ambulance doors.......the Kohl's Bag perched on her stomach!!

God does take care of those who do bad things! AND just once in a while... He allows us to witness it!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
A Few Wise Quotes ...

1) Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself .

2) The tongue weighs practically nothing, But so few people can hold it.

3) Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Can you imagine how you would feel if you were waiting to cross the railway lines, all neatly dressed and done up to the nines - to maybe go and attend a job interview and this happened ... Oh my !






Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.

Spaghatta Nadle is on Facebook!!!

I'm not even kidding.


This spiraled out of control very quickly.   The only reason I didn't make even more friends for him is because Gmail and Hotmail both cut me off.  They were like "No more new accounts today... we're big, mean, evil bads."  

Anyway, if you want to friend Spaghatta Nadle, tag him in a photo or superpoke him, go HERE

Funnies and the barber who didn't believe ...

Times Gone By ......


Hi Folks,

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the Garage - "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this ?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?' The cardiologist smiled and leaned over then whispered to the mechanic -

"Try doing it with the engine running" !

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

A Lady went into a Police Station to report her missing husband.

Lady: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height? Lady: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy? Lady: Not slim, can be healthy,
Inspector: Colour of eyes? Lady: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair? Lady: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearin?g Lady: suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ? Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the lady started crying….. Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

The barber who didn't believe ......

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about so many things and various subjects. Suddenly - they touched on the subject of God, the barber said "Look Man, I don't believe that God exists as you say so".

"Why do you say that?" asked the client. "Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God exists, there would be no suffering nor pain. I can't think of a God who permits all of these things." The client stopped for a moment thinking but he didn't want to respond so as to prevent an argument. The barber finished his job and the client went out of the shop. Just after he left the barber shop he saw a man in the street with a long hair and beard (it seems that it had been a long time since he had his hair cut and he looked so untidy).
Then the client again entered the barber shop and he said to the barber: "Know what ? Barbers do not exist."

"How come they don't exist?"-asked the barber. "When I am here and I'm a barber." "No!" the client exclaimed. "They don't exist because if they did there would be no people with long hair and beards like that man who walks in the street." "Ah, barbers do exist, what happens is that people do not come to us." "Exactly!"- affirmed the client. "That's the point. God does exist, what happens is people don't go to Him and do not look for Him that's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world.
"


Unknown Author.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it,
but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing
Until it arrives......
Unknown Author



Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.

Spaghatta Nadle Part Fahve!

Warning:  If you are new here or are not familiar with the Spaghatta Nadle, please go here and then here and then here and maybe even here before reading this one.  I promise things will make a lot more sense if you do.  I'm going to have to put this warning on every single Spaghatta Nadle cartoon from now on, aren't I?  Crap.  

Anyway, I think I'm going to start posting comics on Fridays or the weekends.  Partly because it's an easy way to give you something to read while still giving myself time on the weekend to relax and also because many of you will probably be drunk and I promise that these are a lot funnier when you're drunk. 




P.S.  You guys are huge weirdos for liking this so much...   

:)

Tiger Droppings: 2/26/10

Top Story: Training Bros

Spring Training…is there anything like it? It always starts the same. Everyone is smiling. Everyone is talking about how they haven’t felt this good in years. There is hope in the air. Fun and games abound.

Detroit is no different. Johnny Damon is everyone’s best friend. Miguel Cabrera is a clown. Magglio Ordonez is looking buff and talking about playing four more years. Zoom’s a new man. Carlos Guillen doesn't mind being a DH, all of the sudden. Things are looking up.

And then the third base coach runs over the manager’s foot and breaks his toe. I love the Tigers.

For your enjoyment, here are a collection of my favorite photos posted by the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press from Spring Traning the past couple days. Head over to either site to view them all. All photos are by Julian Gonzalez of the Freep and Robin Buckson of the News. As for the dumb captions underneath them, that’s my gift to you. Enjoy.

"Late night, huh? Are the White Sox in town?"


"Dude, I don't care if your grandpa thinks it's funny. Quit grabbing my ass."


"Did you hear? Carlos says he doesn't mind DHing."


Little did Nate know, but Dombrowski offered Nate's $10 million to whoever killed him first.


"I wish I could quit you."


"Why...so...serious?"


"Uh oh! Jose made boom boom in pants."


"But in Boston, the ladies like 'The Shocker'."


"Haha...I farted again."


"Freeze! Police! Don't move, Laird!"


He can't be any worse than Don Kelly up there.


"Yeah, I know. They keep paying me, too. Ahh, hahahaha..."

In Other News

-Vodka and Pineapple, Please


Former Tiger failure Dane Sardinha was arrested by Clearwater, FL police this week for a DUI. He spent around six hours in jail before being released on a $250 bond. I only post this because I hate Dane Sardinha and hope they give him the electric chair. (Sorry again, Dusty.)

-Mighty Casey Has Struck Out

In the wake of the Johnny Damon signing, relief pitcher Casey Fien was designated for assignment to make room for JD on the 40 man roster. I didn’t realize the guy was already 26 years old. We’ll see what happens to him. Meanwhile, Don Kelly still has a spot. Sigh.

-A Moment in the Life of Your Party Host

As I have mentioned here in the past, in the real world I run a sports bar in southeast Michigan. The following is an actual conversation that took place the other day between myself and some guy sitting at the bar that saw me walk out in my Tigers hat. This guy appeared to be in his 40’s and had the glorious mustache of a date rapist.

GUY: Tigers fan, huh?
ME: No. I like the Astros. I just found this hat outside.
GUY: Huh?
ME: Nothing. I was kidding. Yeah, I’m a Tigers fan.
GUY: Me, too. Man, they’re gonna suck this year.
ME: Eh, they’ll be okay. No one in the Central is that good. I actually think they’re a better team than they were last year.
GUY: I don’t even know who any of these new guys they have are. They suck.
ME: Well, we’ll see. I’m more excited about next year. Most of the big useless contracts will finally be gone. And we might finally be done with Brandon Inge, too.
GUY: What? I love Inge! He’s awesome.
ME: Yeah, I hear that a lot but don’t get it. The guy can’t hit. And he’s overrated in the field, too.
GUY: What are you talking about? He hit .309 in 2006!
ME: No he didn’t.
GUY: Yes he did.
ME: No. He didn’t. He hit around .250, dude. (It was .253.) Look, I’ve kind of got some things to do…
GUY: You think I’m an idiot? Inge is my favorite player! He hit .309 in ’06, man. I remember because I was betting a buddy at the end of the year if he’d finish over .300.
ME: My bad, man. Take care.

This is why I drink. I picture guys like this posting comments at mLive, Yahoo, and on the Tigers home page. Ever read those comments? Look at what poor Ian had to deal with this week.

-Always A Tiger News via MLB Trade Rumors

The San Diego Padres signed Eric Munson to a minor league deal. Munson, as you may remember, was quite possibly the worst fielding third baseman in Tiger history a few years back. He has been a backup and minor league catcher in recent years. His brother, Roy, was profiled in the bowling movie “Kingpin” years ago.

Really…that’s it this week? Who is still a free agent that has played in Detroit? Glad you asked.

Paul Bako, catcher
Tony Clark, first base
Gary Sheffield, left field
Jarrod Washburn, pitcher
Troy Percival, relief pitcher
Jamie Walker, relief pitcher

Retirement is probably a possibility for all of them, with the exception of Washburn. I do hope that Sheff signs somewhere. He’s always good for material.

But, Plugs

-Congrats to Lee over at Tiger Tales. Lee’s got a book called “Beyond Batting Average” that just came out and you really should buy it immediately. Unlike most of us crappy bloggers, Lee knows his stuff and is the resident sabermetrics guy among the Tiger community. Why are you still reading my nonsense? Go buy Lee’s book!

-Fernando Rodney says that Game 163 affected the interest in his services as a free agent. I’m pretty sure the fact that Fernando Rodney sucks had a bit more to do with it.

-Kurt has put together a great look at the Tiger offseason and the reasoning behind the moves they made. Check it out.

-All Tiger moves this offseason are right here in case you've been living under a rock. Weirdo.

Until our next adventure...

The DNR 25: #10 Curtis Granderson

The DNR 25 is a list of my personal favorite Detroit Tigers players of the past 25 years. If you’ve missed any so far and care to catch up, here’s the previous five.

#15: Lance Parrish
#14: Frank Tanana
#13: Placido Polanco
#12: Darrell Evans
#11: Tony Phillips

And we have (finally) reached the Top Ten.


Full Name
Curtis Granderson

DOB
3/16/81

College
University of Illinois at Chicago

Drafted
2002, 3rd Round, Detroit Tigers

MLB Seasons
2004-present

Tiger Seasons
2004-2009

Career Stats
.272 Avg, 102 HR, 299 RBI, .828 OPS, 113 OPS+

Career Leaderboard
2009 AL All-Star
2007: 10th in MVP voting
2007: 3rd in Runs (122)
2007: 1st in Triples (23)
2008: 2nd in Runs (112)
2008: 1st in Triples (13)

Best Tiger Season
If 2006 was the year the Tiger fans discovered Curtis Granderson, then 2007 was the year they fell in love with him. He hit .302 with 22 homers and 66 RBI. Add on to that the 38 doubles, 23 triples, and 26 stolen bases (in 27 attempts), and Curtis had put together a historic season. He became the third man in baseball history to have at least 20 doubles, triples, homers and stolen bases, joining Willie Mays (1957) and Frank “Wildfire” Schulte (1911). His OPS in ’07 was .913 and his OPS+ was 135. Tiger fans thought they had finally found their “franchise” home grown player they had lacked since Alan Trammell. Weird how things can change so quickly…

Little Known Fact
Curtis grew up as a fan of the Atlanta Braves.

Reason For Being On The List
The answer to this is simple. Curtis Granderson was a heck of a ballplayer for us and an even better person. In a world where it is difficult for me to point to a famous athlete and be sure that I can tell my son that “right there is a guy you can look up to”, I feel confident that I can say so about Grandy.

He has become an ambassador for the game, both in the US and overseas. Granderson has traveled to far off places like China, South Africa, and Italy to teach kids and make folks aware of the game he loves. As a direct result, Bud Selig wrote Granderson a letter that read in part, “There are so many fine young men playing Major League baseball today, but I can think of no one who is better suited to represent our national pastime than you.” Amen.

We were lucky to have a guy like him in Detroit and I hope everyone enjoyed him as much as I did.

What Happened To Him?
Not sure. Let me know if you hear anything.

So, yeah, he’s a New York Yankee now. In the trade that made Detroit fans’ heads explode all over the country, Grandy was traded in the offseason to The Dark Side. He might end up being a left fielder for them. It’s doubtful that he’s going to be batting in the top half of the lineup anymore. And maybe it’s my natural bias against the New York fans, but I don’t think he is going to be appreciated half as much as he has for the past four years in Detroit.

It’s amazing that a guy impacted so many fans, both young and old, in only a few quick seasons, but Curtis Granderson accomplished that. I understand why the trade was made and I even supported it after it happened. The team comes first and baseball is a business. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m a Grandy fan for life and I wish him nothing but the best playing in Gothom and beyond.

Well, except for when he’s playing us. In that case, I hope the bastard strikes out every time up. And he probably will if there's a lefty on the mound. Harf...

Take care, Curtis. Thanks for letting us all be Grand Kids for a while.

Info ripped off of baseball-reference.com and Wikipedia.
Pics via Google.

My Childhood, in Pictures



I didn't grow up to be criminally insane!!  Good job, Mom! 

Luna / Funnies ......


How about a couple of gift suggestions for Father's Day ?



Hi Folks,


On TV tonight I was intrigued by the description of one of the programmes so settled down to watch it ... It was all about Luna the Orca Whale in Canada and I must admit that being a soft hearted person who can cry at the least soppy or sad event going I was up to my knees in paper hankies in no time. So I am enclosing a short synopsis of the story along with the above video which shows this remarkably social animal who managed to gather lots of people onto his side.

" No one expected it. No one planned for it. No one thought it could happen. Then when it did, no one knew what to do. When a baby wild orca showed up in a remote fjord on the West Coast of Vancouver Island and started to make friends with people, no one was ever the same.


In the end, the wayward Orca Luna died as he had lived and become well-known -- alone and lonely. The young killer whale, which somehow got separated from his whale family in the back bays of Vancouver Island, died in a grisly collision with a tugboat's propeller .

The death of a whale that attracted thousands of tourists -- some from overseas -- sparked anew arguments over whether Canadian officials and native leaders mishandled the situation. One minute Luna was frolicking around the back of a boat, as he did routinely in an attempt to secure the companionship he craved. The next minute, he was sucked into a tube containing a propeller powered by a 1,700-horsepower engine. "

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

A woman in a supermarket was following a grandfather ...... and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy, boy."Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror was throwing items out of the cart, and Gramps says again in a controlled voice, " William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks, lady," said the grandfather, "but I'm William . . .. the little beggar's name is Steve."

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

A man woke up one morning in Alaska ...... to find a bear on his roof. So he looked in the yellow pages and sure enough, there was an ad for 'Bear Removers'.
He called the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrived, and got out of his van. He got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks? "I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in
the cage in the back of the van.." He handed the shotgun to the homeowner. "What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner. "If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

An elderly man in North Queensland had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large billabong in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!' The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the crocodiles...' Some old men can sure think fast......






Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.

Hey Guys! Look at Me Being Famous and Getting Interviewed!!

Remember how yesterday I was all "I'm dying from drawing too much, how about you guys just interview me so I don't have to come up with a post on my own..."?  

I seriously underestimated your capacity to ask questions.  And I overestimated my ability to come up with good answers.  I really don't think I'm cut out to be famous, you guys.  This shit's hard.  

Anyway, I ended up picking the questions that led to the most entertaining/informative answers.  If I didn't answer your question, it doesn't mean that I hate you or that I hate your question.  It just means that I failed at creating a satisfactory answer.  

Alright, question time! 


Why do you live in Montana?  Are you being held against your will by a bear and a sad bee? 

I live in Montana because Boyfriend and I went to school here and then after we graduated, Boyfriend was like "I know what would be a good idea!  I should get a job in Montana and then we should keep living here!"  And I was like "Okay." So here I am. Some days I feel like I am being held here against my will by a bear, and some days I'm happy to live here:


Given a choice of eating only ham or only raisins for the rest of your life, which would you choose and why? 

I would probably choose raisins because they have fiber and fiber is healthy and also  I could probably soak the raisins in water and then ferment them and make wine and then I could get drunk and forget about the fact that I'll only be able to eat raisins for the rest of my life.  

When choosing a cat, what do you think is important?  

When choosing a cat, I think it is important to check and make absolutely sure that the cat is not a robot destroyer.  If you can confirm that the cat is a genuine animal, then I would make sure that it doesn't have rabies.  

Are you or are you not the first sign of the apocalypse?  What is the second sign?  What is the best way to repent? 

Maybe.  I think I might count as a false Messiah.  

In case anyone is wondering, I'm not Jesus.  

BAM.  Apocalypse averted.  You're welcome. 

What made you choose the lowly Nadle to raise to such animated heights? 

It just kind of happened.  It was the product of too little sleep and too much sugar.

Does Boyfriend ever see the same face you have in your header?  How often?  Is he turned on or skeered?

Boyfriend is much more likely to see my raptor face:

  

When I'm really stressed, I like to pretend I'm a dinosaur.  I don't think it scares Boyfriend anymore.  He's used to it. 

Where do you think the word "sandwich" came from?  

Supposedly sandwiches are named after the Earl of Sandwich, but we all know that's a lie.  I think it's just a cover-up for the fact that our ancestors ate sand.  Have you ever noticed how all kids try to eat sand?  It's their primal instincts.  Kids have a vestigial appetite for sand.  

What do you think of  Twilight? 

I hear it has vampires in it.  

What did you do this morning for 2 hours instead of writing a blog post? 

I woke up to my alarm and flailed around melodramatically before crawling out of bed.  And then I almost fell down the stairs.  Then I made some tea and stared at my wall for a little while.  Then I made myself an award for getting up so early.  Then I tried to write a blog post, but it didn't work, so I just drew pictures instead.   

If a spleen and a tomato juice were involved in a war between aliens, would the horse radish win a poodle?

Verbs. 

How will you celebrate when (not if) you become "Champion of the Internet"? 

When I become Champion of the Internet, I will obviously also become very wealthy, so I will buy myself a unicorn and ride it around town while screaming randomly.  

Is it exhausting being so awesome?

Yes it is, Barbara.  The weight of my awesomeness is a heavy load to bear.  It's like wearing a backpack full of rocks and trying to run uphill as fast as I can.  In the snow.  And inspirational music is playing in the background, but I can't hear it because my ears are too full of my own splendor.  

In all seriousness, though, this is hard work (blogging, I mean... not being awesome.  That just kind of comes naturally).  Even though I get to sit around in my pajamas all day, I'm working more than full time.  It's fun work, but there's a lot of it!  Boyfriend says that I probably work 80 hours a week between writing, editing, drawing, emailing and forum-ing.  He was kind of pouty about it.  (Okay, so I just realized how much 80 hours is.  It's probably more like 50 or 60.  I blame Boyfriend for the melodramatic exaggeration.)

If a celebrity would play you in a movie, who would it be?

Charlize Theron or Megan Fox.  Then everyone would think I was super hot.

What illustrators did you admire growing up?

I was obsessed with Calvin and Hobbes when I was young.  Also Gary Larson.  They are both able to convey complex ideas with fairly simple illustrations. 

If bears and unicorns played each other in Curling, who would win?

Bears.  The unicorns would be disqualified for using magic.  I'm pretty sure there's a rule in curling that says you can't use magic.  

In a fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco, who would win?

Probably the taco.  Have you ever been stabbed in the mouth by a hard taco shell?  Tacos will shank you.  

Do you like to read?  If so, what?

I love reading!  Right now, I'm reading several David Sedaris books.  My favorite book is probably The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.   I also love books about drug addicts, for some reason.  

Is there a separation between regular Allie and cartoon Allie?  Do they ever cross over?  

Cartoon Allie is based heavily on myself as a child:


That being said, there is significant overlap with my adult self.  But I think maybe cartoon-me can open its mouth wider than I can.  

If you could live anywhere you choose, where would it be?  

Narnia. 

Can you draw elephants?  I really like elephants.

I can kind of draw elephants... 


Will Spaghatta Nadle ever find lave?

Oh, definitely.