Bobby Higginson For MLB Hall of Fame!

The voting will begin soon for the next group to enter the Hall of Fame. Certainly Mr. Bert Blyleven will FINALLY get in this year, or else I’ll have to snap someone’s neck. But who else? WHO CARES!

Bobby F’n Higginson, the greatest Tiger that ever was, is in his first year of eligibility! And when he gets voted in, I want his HOF plaque to look like the picture above!  Wait…what do you mean Bobby doesn’t deserve to be in the Hall of Fame? Are you fist-f-cking me?  Asshats!

Forgive me. Sometimes I forget that Bobby only had around four good years in the bigs. Go eat a bag of dicks.

Here’s a quick look at this year’s nominees. I’m sure when we get a bit more close, I’ll go into them in more detail. For now, I’ll separate them into three categories for you, based on my initial thoughts when reading their names. Don’t hold me to anything here…I haven’t done any research yet. (Do I ever?)

F-ck and Yes
Roberto Alomar (greatest 2nd baseman I’ve ever seen)
Bert Blyleven (pictured here in the greatest photo ever)
(Seriously, he should get in just for wearing that shirt...)

Mark McGwire (shut up, they were all on roids)
Jack Morris (10 inning World Series shutout among countless other moments)

Could Make an Argument
Jeff Bagwell (my 2nd favorite non-Tiger of all time after Craig Biggio)
Barry Larkin (overrated)
Edgar Martinez (wish he could field)
Don Mattingly (back ouchie ruined it all)
Fred McGriff (Crime Dog!)
Dale Murphy (nice guys finish last?)
Rafael Palmeiro (who you pointing at?)
Tim Raines (Rickey made him look mortal)
Lee Smith (saves overrated?)
Alan Trammell (homer choice, obviously)
Larry Walker (great numbers, hurt a lot)

Hell No
Carlos Baerga (meh)
Harold Baines (solid, not great)
Bret Boone (like one good year?)
Kevin Brown (psycho)
John Franco (saves suck)
Juan Gonzalez (diediediedie)
Marquis Grissom (thought he’d be great as a rookie)
Lenny Harris (really?)
Bobby Higginson (sniffle)
Charles Johnson (original Marlin alert!)
Al Leiter (good commentator)
Tino Martinez (I hate Tino)
Raul Mondesi (what a waste of talent)
John Olerud (nice helmet)
Dave Parker (he’s STILL on the list?)
Kirk Rueter (who?)
Benito Santiago (forgot he existed)
BJ Surhoff (heh heh…BJ)

Seriously, though. If Bert gets screwed again, everybody dies.