I Am Jack's Raging Bile Duct

“Only after disaster can we be resurrected.” -Tyler Durden in “Fight Club”

-Game 163
-Goodbye, Polly
-Seeya, Grandy
-Down goes Seay
-Down goes Miner
-Armando’s Imperfect Game
-Down goes Zumaya
-Down goes Inge
-Down goes Guillen
-Down goes Ordonez

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” -Durden

Potentially, around a week after being in first place in the AL Central, we could be sending out a lineup featuring seven rookies.

1. Austin Jackson, CF, Rookie
2. Scott Sizemore, 3B, Rookie
3. Johnny Damon, LF, Veteran
4. Miguel Cabrera, 1B, MVP
5. Brennan Boesch, RF, Rookie
6. Jeff Larish, DH, Rookie
7. Alex Avila, C, Rookie
8. Danny Worth, SS, Rookie
9. Will Rhymes, 2B, Rookie

And in case you forgot…

Bench: Gerald Laird (terrible), Ramon Santiago (career backup), Don Kelly (career 25th man), Ryan Raburn (nightmare season)

This is amazing. Heartbreaking. Unbelievable. Gut wrenching. Other similar words and phrases that mean that it really sucks.

“I (feel) like destroying something beautiful.” –Narrator in “Fight Club”

With Magglio and Carlos hitting the DL, my man Larish finally gets a call up…probably his last chance in Detroit. I’m thrilled about that, as he was the man I wanted a look at to replace Inge.

But the call up of Rhymes just has me shaking my head at how thin our minor league system (at least at AAA) really is. He’s David Eckstein if Eckstein were somehow smaller and more terrible.

If Rhymes gets put out there at short or third and a ball is hit deep in the hole, by the time he backhands it and his throw reaches first, the guy’s going to be safe, scratching his nuts, and there’ll already be a 2-0 count on the next hitter. Rhymes is worse than Don Kelly, for Higgy's sake.

I really miss Mike Hessman right about now.

“I am Jack’s cold sweat” –Narrator

I’ve tried to be optimistic this season when nearly every other person out there that writes about the Tigers has said that this is not a playoff team. From Lynn Henning of the Detroit News down to IngeFan6969 commenting at tigers.com, 95% of folks have always seen the 2010 Tigers as a .500 ballclub playing over their heads thus far. That very well could, and probably has, been true. And these final blows to the team may be the nails in the coffin for this season before then end of July. Can you believe that we’re still only 2 ½ games back?

Reality tells you, though, that unless Dave Dombrowski goes nuts this week in trades, the Tigers are done. You know the White Sox and Twins are going to better themselves. And the brutal schedule isn't getting any easier.

Dombrowski has to take a long, serious look at this team and figure out if it’s really worth going after an unrealistic goal anymore, or just let the rookies do their best and prepare for the greener pastures of 2011. It looks like he might even have another $15 million to play with next year with Maggs going bye-bye for quite a while.

One final thing, though. A bloody miracle could happen. Dave might say “screw it” and still go after Dan Haren and a hitter. These kids might start playing over their heads (see Boesch, Brennan and Jackson, Austin) and bond in some sort of “us against the world” type manner until Team Venezuala and Special Little Guy come back. It is still the mediocre AL Central, after all.

Wouldn’t it be sweet to see this team overcome so many odds to make it into the playoffs? Yogi Berra might be senile and a filthy Yankee, but he was right when he said “it’s not over until it’s over”.

We can still hope, right? And then?

“I am Jack’s smirking revenge.” -Narrator