Funnies ...


A Smile from God ......


Hi Folks,

This funny fairly tickled my fancy ...

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini. '

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less sombre. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called,
'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY..... Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
AFRICAN 'Jim Beam' FRUIT TREE...

This is a real video from a French documentary about Africa.

You may not understand a word, but the video is a hoot -
especially the monkeys!

There are trees that grow in Africa which, once a year, produce
very juicy fruits that contain a large percentage of alcohol.

Because there is a shortage of water, as soon as the fruits are
ripe, the animals, big and small, belly up to the bar.

What happens next ....





Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.