AL All-Star Voting: The Fans vs. Your Party Host

Behold! My useless American League All-Star picks vs. those of the fans. Why not the National League? Because the NL is boring and only watched by old people…and Tim Kurkjian (bless him).


Fans Pick: Joe Mauer

My Pick: Joe Mauer…who else? It’s been a down year for Mauer, but he’s still the best in the AL this year.

Feel Good Pick: John Buck has been quite the surprise in Toronto this year. Sadly, Toronto is in Canada where ESPN refuses to cover baseball, so no one will know about it.

Fans Are Stupid: Taylor Teagarden finished fourth. He has played most of the year in Double A. I can only assume that people voted for him due to his silly name. Also, Gerald Laird finished fifth despite not being able to hit Don Kelly’s weight.

First Base

Fans Pick: Justin Morneau

My Pick: Miguel Cabrera. Venezuela > Canada, therefore I took Big Mig over Canadian Bacon. Plus, Cabrera’s got the edge in VORP right now over Morneau, 47.4 to 46.1. So there. I’d throw a newborn puppy into a microwave to see Cabrera win the Triple Crown this year just so ESPN would be forced to talk about him for more than ten seconds. I blame Berman, Morgan, and Valentine completely ignoring Miguel while he hit in the Home Run Derby for his subpar performance.

Feel Good Pick: No one is ever going to know who Billy Butler is while he’s stuck in Kansas City. But he’s been outperforming Mark Teixiera for the entire season so far.

Fans Are Stupid: Teixeira finished second despite being sixth among AL first basemen in VORP and only hitting .254.

Second Base

Fans Pick: Robinson Cano

My Pick: Robinson Cano by a wide margin. No one else is really close this year.

Feel Good Pick: Ian Kinsler? Again, no one is really near Cano’s numbers, but seeing someone other than a Yank or a Sawk getting voted in is always nice…unless they’re from Chicago or Minnesota.

Fans Are Stupid: Nothing bad at second. Congrats, morons!

Third Base

Fans Pick: Evan Longoria

My Pick: Evan Longoria…barely over Adrian Beltre. It still feels weird that I saw Longoria play for Durham at the Toledo Mud Hens home opener in 2008. They played the “Desperate Housewives” theme every time he came up to the plate. Silly rabbits.

Feel Good Pick: Michael Young, again because I hate the AL East.

Fans Are Stupid: Brandon Inge finished fifth. That’s adorable.


Fans Pick: Derek Jeter (duh)

My Pick: Alex Gonzalez of the Blue Jays. He leads all shortstops in homers and VORP. However, the world will end if Derek Jeter doesn’t start the All-Star game at short, much like Cal Ripken before him.

Feel Good Pick: Gonzalez.

Fans Are Stupid: Gonzalez finished fifth behind Jeter (which I can understand), Elvis Andrus, JJ Hardy (who sucks), and Jason Bartlett.

Designated Hitter

Fans Pick: Vladimir Guerrero

My Pick: Vladimir Guerrero…Vlad’s a beast.

Feel Good Pick: Hideki Matsui, only because the game was in the Angels' stadium.

Fans Are Stupid: Ken Griffey Jr. finished fourth despite retiring weeks ago and being an abortion at the plate this year. Let it go, kids. Let it go.


Fans Pick: Ichiro Suzuki, Josh Hamilton, Carl Crawford

My Pick: Josh Hamilton, Carl Crawford, Brennan Boesch. Hamilton and Crawford are #1 and #2 among AL outfielders in VORP. I can’t argue with those choices. But Ichiro is the most overrated player in modern baseball history. And Mr. Boesch happens to be #3 in VORP among AL outfielders and he gets my third pick.

Feel Good Pick: Boesch for coming out of nowhere is one. The other two would be Alex Rios and Vernon Wells for both coming back from the dead to play damn good baseball this year for Chicago and Toronto.

Fans Are Stupid: As much as I still love Curtis Granderson, being hurt all year and sucking when he has played does not deserve finishing sixth in the voting.

Overall, the fans and I agreed on six out of nine positions. Not bad, I guess. But it wasn’t good enough as the NL won the game 3-1.

I blame the fans and Girardi for not taking Brennan Boesch.