Garbage In, Garbage Out

JAY VOSS: Hey. I’m Jay. I was acquired for a $10 million sack of monkey turds. Nice to meet you.

BILLY BUCKNER: Sup? I’m Billy Buckner. Detroit got me for a $12 million pile of flaming sewage.

VOSS: Billy Buckner? Any relation to…

BUCKNER: Stop. I’ve got two words for you. F-ck and you. Never met the man.

VOSS: Damn. Chill, bro. Hey, who’s that guy?

EEUT GUY: Eat ‘em up Tigers, eat ‘em up!

BUCKNER: Somebody get me outta here…


Yeah, I had no ending to that.

As the eras of Our Hero and The D-Railed Train have come to an end, I thought I’d take a quick look at the wastes of roster space the Tigers got in exchange for their $22 million men.

Jay Voss
Voss is a lefty that stands 6’4, weighs 195 pounds, and is 23 years old. He was an 8th round pick of the Florida Marlins in the ’07 Draft. His pro debut was in 2007 with the short-season Jamestown Jammers where he went an impressive 0-7 with an equally impressive 7.63 ERA in 15 games, 11 of them starts. Sigh.

The next year with the Class A Greensboro Grasshoppers, he was again horrible as a starter going 2-5 with a 7.24 ERA. The decision was made to move him to the bullpen where he did a bit better, going 1-1 with a 4.15 ERA. Overall for the year, he struck out 55 in 69 innings pitched.

2009 was spent between the High-A ball Jupiter Hammerheads and the AA Jacksonville Suns. Combined, he improved his overall stats to 3-1 with a 2.72 ERA in 49.2 innings, striking out 46.

Since joining the Tigers organization, Voss has been in AA Erie going 1-1 with a 5.64 ERA in 22.1 innings pitched. He’s allowed 31 hits and struck out 14.

He may turn into a decent lefty situational guy, but that’s about it. And I think we have plenty of them around for the near future.

Billy Buckner
Buckner pitches right-handed, stands 6’2, 205 pounds, and is 26 years old. He was drafted by the Kansas City Royals in 2004 in the 2nd round (55th overall). A year earlier, the Rays drafted him in the 9th round, but he didn’t sign.

In parts of 7 seasons in the minors, overall he has a record of 49-42 with a 4.20 ERA in 736.2 innings pitched, with 625 strikeouts and a WHIP of 1.44.

He made it to the majors in 2007 with KC going 1-2 with a 5.29 ERA in 34 innings. In December of that year, he was traded to Arizona for infielder Alberto Callaspo.

From 2008 to this season, Bucker had gone 5-9 with a 6.56 ERA and 1.67 WHIP in 104.1 innings with the D-Backs. At the age of 26 with two teams giving up on him, Buckner’s future doesn’t seem too bright.

I can only assume that Double D was drunk and saw a picture of Buckner in a KC jersey and thought he was being offered Billy BUTLER. But what do I know?

And no, Billy isn’t related to legendary Red Sox scapegoat, Bill Buckner. But, yes, he is terrible. Can’t wait to yell curse words at him at a Hens game.

Dave Dombrowski has turned other teams’ trash into his treasure before, most recently with Armando Galarraga’s surprise 2008 campaign. Time will tell if he has found a similar gem in Voss or Buckner.

But it doesn’t look like it, kids. Move along…nothing to see here.