Funnies ...

Hi Folks,


This first funny appealed to my sense of humour - Enjoy!

" She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast,wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in still sleepy... she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then I gave it my all - right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards - she said, "Thanks," and then she returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck. Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained -
"Well, you see - the egg timer is broken"... Uh ohhh! "

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If Why and What ...
More ambiguous 'English' statements ...

1) IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
2) CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
3) IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
4) WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
5) . HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
6) WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
7) ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
8) DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?
9) DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
10) HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
11) IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
12) IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
13) IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
14) WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
15) WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS" ?
16) WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
17) WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
18)
IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?
19) CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD ?





Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.