Funnies and a Danger road ......

Hi There,

Today's blog is mainly funnies as there is a severe lack of weird and wonderful news stories atm... Hopefully things will pick up soon and I will find something interesting to blog about so that I can rant and rave as is my wont - or perhaps I'll hear of something which drives me up the wall or makes me want to jump off a bridge - what are the chances ??

Did you know that ......
In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)


In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)


Muslims
are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.(A brick?)

The penalty for masturbation in
Indonesia is decapitation.
(Much worse than 'going blind!')


There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there
any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

In
Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice !)

Topless saleswomen are legal in
Liverpool ,England - but only in tropical fish stores.(HUH ?)

In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)


In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)


In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.'
(Is this a great country or what? but not as great as Guam!)


Did you know that banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (How do they know that?)

The
ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of ??)

Butterflies
taste with their feet .
(Yeuchhhh)..

An
ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)


Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

And, the best for last -


Turtles
can breathe through their butts..
(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)


~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.
The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. "Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested. So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had any condoms. ."Yes, we do" the clerk said and pulled out a box from under the counter and gave it to Donald. The clerk asked "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"
"Oh noooo I'd thuffocate "!!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

The Stuff of Nightmares ...


COME WITH ME . . . to a very, very high-way in Bolivia , South America . Stremnaya Road is nicknamed The Road of Death, which will not be surprising after you see these photos.
Buckle Up !










These photos remind me of a road Rob and I travelled when he drove our hire car from the north of Majorca down to the south coast... My one abiding memory of that holiday was of me hanging on to the rail above the passenger seat with one hand and the seat with my right hand ..... too terrified to let go. As though that would've saved me if the car had suddenly went squiffing off the side of the hill !

Have I ever told you that Rob was a taxi driver when I met him twenty odd years ago? I tell you, these loops attached to the insides of taxis fairly came in handy while you were swung from side to side as he drove you to your destination ....... There is definitely someone looking after us 'up above' while Rob is driving, I couldn't count the number of times I have 'HAD' to close my eyes and have a quick word in the ears of ' The Big Man Above' .




Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.