Murphy's lubricant / A Pig in a Poke / A Moan ...



Hi Folks,


A Lubricant ......

Murphy's' old lady had been pregnant for some time now and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.

She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said. 'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son,! 'Ain't dat grand, !!' Murphy got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, 'Hold on! We ain't finished yet, !'

The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said,
'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter, She is a pretty lil ting, too....' Murphy got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we aint got done yet,

The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy!' Murphy said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies,?' The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'Murphy said, 'Ah yeah, during conception......

'When Murph and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said, 'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.' She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night ...' Murph said, I'll tell you - It's a flippen good ting we didn't use the WD40!

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Do you know what the saying 'a pig in a poke means?' An offering or deal that is foolishly accepted without being examined first. 'Don't buy a pig in a poke' might seem odd and archaic language. It's true that the phrase is very old, but actually it can be taken quite literally and remains good advice. The advice being given is 'don't buy a pig until you have seen it'. This is enshrined in British commercial law as 'caveat emptor' - Latin for 'let the buyer beware'. This remains the guiding principle of commerce in many countries and, in essence, supports the view that if you buy something you take responsibility to make sure it is what you intended to buy.

A poke is a sack or bag. It has a French origin as 'poque' and, like several other French words, its a diminutive is formed by adding 'ette' or 'et' - hence 'pocket' began life with the meaning 'small bag'. Poke is still in use in several English-speaking countries, notably Scotland and USA, and describes just the sort of bag that would be useful for carrying a piglet to market. A pig that's in a poke might turn out to be no pig at all. If a merchant tried to cheat by substituting a lower value animal, the trick could be uncovered by letting the cat out of the bag. Many other European languages have a version of this phrase - most of them translating into English as a warning not to 'buy a cat in a bag'. The advice has stood the test of time and people have been repeating it in one form or the other for getting on for five hundred years maybe longer.
I will neuer bye the pyg in the poke : Thers many a foule pyg in a feyre cloke.
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I am finishing this blog with a moan ..... After watching the evening news on Scottish Television last night I am fizzing mad !! It seems that the Scottish Parliament seem to be under the misapprehension that as global warming is coming we have no need for such things as snow salt in this country ...... Well, this stupid thought could only be the reason for Scotland not now to have it's own facility of snow salt available to spread on our roads during the bad winters ...

Up until now we had the facility of stocks being available locally - not now though ... What do we do now ??? We await the councils contacting the firms over the border ( in England) for some snow salt .... and probably pay plenty for the privilege no doubt ! Why in the name of Heaven would we need to contact England for snow salt when we in Scotland have colder winters than England and therefore more need of the stuff ... Can someone please explain it to me, I really would be very interested to know ......

As an aside .... are the powers that be also trying to get rid of all the older constituents in one fell swoop by not bothering to clear the roads and pavements of the ice which has been causing no end of chaos ? This is where I start another moan, let me clarify my position - although I am not yet 64 years old I suffer like many of my generation from something called Osteoporosis - in my case quite severely ... I have a 48 % bone loss in my spine and was told nearly 20 years ago that I had the bones of a woman of over 80 years...... nice huh ??

I am only one of several thousands who would be a drain on the medical and care resources if by chance one day I were to fall and do some real damage to my spine ...... I would for a start have to move from my house as there would be no way I could cope with the stairs to my flat - which would mean that I would be totally housebound . (I cannot see Rob being able to carry me down to the ground floor). Surely it would be worthwhile financially if nothing else to have the facility of snow salt in Scotland as we had previously and to make sure that the roads and pavements were safe for folk ...(Both for drivers and pedestrians ).

Somehow I have the feeling that Rob and I will once again be heading towards the Scottish Parliament to demonstrate just how much ' ill will ' has been caused by the short sightedness of some Members of the Scottish Parliament. They seem to have been ill advised about how some of their 'daft decisions' would affect their constituents. Which is rather a stupid thing as they should be reminded that their jobs depend on us and they can be easily ousted......

By the way having previously mentioned that I had been trying to buy new snowboots I feel that this is a good time to mention this ....... I still have been unable to manage to buy new ones at any of the large stores ... Guess why ?? Because the stores are ordering summer stock, aren't they ... aaarrrghhh ... We have only just entered into January for goodness sake !! Guess who will be housebound for the next 3 weeks or so (according to weather forecasts) ...

I have the distinct impression that the goons have taken over the asylum - what do you think?
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Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.

~George S. Patton



Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.