Janus



[Odilon Redon]


According to the assumptions of this book, thoughts accompany the brain's workings, and those thoughts are cognitive of realities. The whole relation is one which we can only write down empirically, confessing that no glimmer of explanation is yet in sight. That brains should give rise to a knowing consciousness at all, this is the one mystery which returns, no matter of what sort of consciousness and of what sort the knowledge may be. Sensations, aware of mere qualities, involve the mystery as much as thoughts, aware of complex systems, involve it.

[William James - The Principles of Psychology]


Or else it is the sudden storm, analogous to those outside, rising and drowning the cries of children, the dying, the lovers, so that in my innocence I say they cease, whereas in reality they never cease. It is difficult to decide. And in the skull is it a vacuum? I ask, And if I close my eyes, close them really, as others cannot, but as I can, for there are limits to my impotence, then sometimes my bed is caught up into the air and tossed like a straw by the swirling eddies, and I in it. Fortunately it is not so much an affair of the eyelids, but as it were the soul that must be veiled, that soul denied in vain, vigilant, anxious, turning in its cage as in a lantern, in the night without haven or craft or matter or understanding.

[Beckett -- Malone Dies]

Janus



[Odilon Redon]


According to the assumptions of this book, thoughts accompany the brain's workings, and those thoughts are cognitive of realities. The whole relation is one which we can only write down empirically, confessing that no glimmer of explanation is yet in sight. That brains should give rise to a knowing consciousness at all, this is the one mystery which returns, no matter of what sort of consciousness and of what sort the knowledge may be. Sensations, aware of mere qualities, involve the mystery as much as thoughts, aware of complex systems, involve it.

[William James - The Principles of Psychology]


Or else it is the sudden storm, analogous to those outside, rising and drowning the cries of children, the dying, the lovers, so that in my innocence I say they cease, whereas in reality they never cease. It is difficult to decide. And in the skull is it a vacuum? I ask, And if I close my eyes, close them really, as others cannot, but as I can, for there are limits to my impotence, then sometimes my bed is caught up into the air and tossed like a straw by the swirling eddies, and I in it. Fortunately it is not so much an affair of the eyelids, but as it were the soul that must be veiled, that soul denied in vain, vigilant, anxious, turning in its cage as in a lantern, in the night without haven or craft or matter or understanding.

[Beckett -- Malone Dies]

Were it only so


[keith evans - plant morphology - drawing on homemade paper - 1999 - via the art of memory]



Democritus believes that the nature of the eternal things is small beings unlimited in multitude. [...] He holds that the substances are so small that they escape our senses. They have all kinds of forms and shapes and differences in size. Out of these as elements he generates and combines visible and perceptible bodies.
contend with one another and move in the void on account of their dissimilarity and the other differences I have mentioned, and as they move they strike against one another and become entangled in a way that makes them be in contact and close to one another, but it does not make any thing out of them that is truly one, for it is quite foolish that two or more things could ever come to be one.

The grounds he gives for why the substances stay together up to a point are that the bodies fit together and hold each other fast. For some of them are rough, some are hooked, others concave and others convex, while yet others have innumerable other differences. So he thinks that they cling to each other and stay together until some stronger necessity comes along from the environment and shakes them and scatters them apart.

[Aristotle, On Democritus, quoted by Simplicius, Commentary on Aristotle's On the Heavens]

He makes sweet that which is round and good-sized; astringent that which is large, rough, polygonal, and not rounded; sharp tasting, as its name indicates, that which is sharp in body, and angular, bent and not rounded; pungent that which is round and small and angular and bent; salty that which is angular and good-sized and crooked and equal sided; bitter that which is round and smooth, crooked and small sized; oily that which is fine and round and small.

[Theophrastus, Causes of Plants, referring to Democritus]

Were it only so


[keith evans - plant morphology - drawing on homemade paper - 1999 - via the art of memory]



Democritus believes that the nature of the eternal things is small beings unlimited in multitude. [...] He holds that the substances are so small that they escape our senses. They have all kinds of forms and shapes and differences in size. Out of these as elements he generates and combines visible and perceptible bodies.
contend with one another and move in the void on account of their dissimilarity and the other differences I have mentioned, and as they move they strike against one another and become entangled in a way that makes them be in contact and close to one another, but it does not make any thing out of them that is truly one, for it is quite foolish that two or more things could ever come to be one.

The grounds he gives for why the substances stay together up to a point are that the bodies fit together and hold each other fast. For some of them are rough, some are hooked, others concave and others convex, while yet others have innumerable other differences. So he thinks that they cling to each other and stay together until some stronger necessity comes along from the environment and shakes them and scatters them apart.

[Aristotle, On Democritus, quoted by Simplicius, Commentary on Aristotle's On the Heavens]

He makes sweet that which is round and good-sized; astringent that which is large, rough, polygonal, and not rounded; sharp tasting, as its name indicates, that which is sharp in body, and angular, bent and not rounded; pungent that which is round and small and angular and bent; salty that which is angular and good-sized and crooked and equal sided; bitter that which is round and smooth, crooked and small sized; oily that which is fine and round and small.

[Theophrastus, Causes of Plants, referring to Democritus]

Man's Inhumanity to Man ...

There are big ships and little ships but the best ships are friendships !!

Hi Folks,


I was reading Vivek 's blog this morning and the undernoted phrase came to mind, I felt compelled to write this comment in relation to some folk who can and have been brainwashed into thinking that actions they are moved to take are the correct ones. What a pity their intelligence was not harnessed into something more in keeping with peacekeeping pursuits.

Man's Inhumanity to Man.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
The Scottish poet Robert Burns (1759- 1796), who was passionate about freedom and respect for humankind, wrote, "Man's Inhumanity to Man, makes countless thousands mourn" ("Man Was Made to Mourn," Stanza 7, 1786). Throughout history, countless thousands continue to mourn as a result of pain, torture, and loss of life inflicted upon them or those near and dear to them--innocent men, women, and children.

In spite of the teachings of Moses, Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed, perpetrators and victims of pain and suffering have been found among all peoples, all nations, all religions, and all races. Yet, we must also note the poets, journalists, statesmen, and ordinary people, who, in many voices and often at great risk to themselves, elect to speak out against the inhumanity they see, in the hope that in time parents might raise their children in peace.

Man’s Inhumanity to Man Quotes:
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~
"He jests at scars that never felt a wound." William Shakespeare

“We cloak ourselves in cold indifference to the unnecessary suffering of others--even when we cause it.” - James Carroll

“What a stupendous, what an incomprehensible machine is man! Who can endure toil, famine, stripes, imprisonment & death itself in vindication of his own liberty, and the next moment , inflict on his fellow men a bondage, one hour of which is fraught with more misery than ages of that which he rose in rebellion to oppose.” Thomas Jefferson
(Example: Jews from German death camps have turned the nation of Palestine into a death camp.)

The first time it was reported that our friends were being butchered there was a cry of horror. Then a hundred were butchered. But when a thousand were butchered and there was no end to the butchery, a blanket of silence spread. When evil doing comes like falling rain, nobody calls out 'stop! 'When crimes begin to pile up they become invisible. When sufferings become unendurable, the cries are no longer heard. The cries, too, fall like rain in summer. - Bertolt Brecht .........

The last quote on this subject I will add is from Martin Luther King Jun. = "Man's inhumanity to man is not only perpetuated by the vitriolic actions of those who are bad. It is also perpetrated by the vitiating inaction of those who are good." "In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase"...

Wow ! I sooo wish I could use my voice to utter words like these - unfortunately my small brain does not have the capacity to utter such intelligent comments so there is nothing more I can add to this subject.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
This is a message to all my blogging friends:


Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.

Raindrops/ Poem /Work or Pleasure /Walking ...

Would you check out that smile - or is it wind ???

Yeeuuuchch !! I wonder what the puppy is thinking ....

A Picture with the AHHHH Factor ...

Shall we 'dance' tar rah rah rah ......

Can you imagine it ???

Hi There,

The bus was cold and the evening outside was dark and wet, but Kevin was sure he heard laughter. What did anyone have to laugh about on a night like this ? Glancing around he saw someone texting, a couple of folk listening to IPods and a man playing games on a hand-held console. But none of those things were causing any obvious joy.

It was only when he got up to leave that Kevin saw the laughter was coming from two little girls sitting with their Mum. It took him right back to his own childhood and the innocent fun that could be had with a wet pane of glass.
Kevin decided the others could keep all their electronic gadgetry. Judging by the delighted looks on the girls' faces there isn't much to compare with picking a raindrop each and racing them to the bottom of the window !
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Each Winter we have glistening snow. Then Spring's sweet scented breeze
And Lovely Summer's sunlit glow. Then Autumn's golden trees
Each season has its own delight. To share with me and you
So surely it is only right. We share our best gifts, too.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
The Commanding Officer of a Parachute Battalion was about to start the morning briefing to his Company Commanders and senior staff.
While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was 'work' and how much of it was 'pleasure?'
The Adjutant chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.
The Quartermaster said it was 50-50%.
The RSM responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the Colonel turned to the Private who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young Private responded; "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The Colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, "if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent……..
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Walking ...
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again, but I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing..
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
As usual I am ending this post with a couple of videos which can play havoc with your tear tweakers if you're as soppy as me.

60963-DogsAndPeople.pps PPT: Inspirational puppy/music essay
To_My_Friends.pps Soppy...Spectacular photography, flowers, soft music, inspirational



Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.

Freda / Chosen to Cheer / Mrs. God / Baby Photos.


Well ... ermm....
OOOPPPS.....
Hi Folks,

A friend of mine was telling me about someone she knows - Freda, who is a retired woman in her 72nd year - she had spent much of her life raising her family and it occurred to her to suggest helping out by doing charity work as she was still quite sprightly, so Freda went along to her local 'community' radio station and started helping behind the scenes.

She put in a good few hours doing whatever she could. Every time my friend Liz saw her she never looked anything but energetic and enthusiastic about life. Volunteering seemed to be giving her a real boost rather than tiring her out. I just had to ask - what made her start volunteering at the age of 72 ? Freda's explanation was a thought-provoking one. "Because when I reached 'that' birthday it meant I had lived longer than both my parents. If they'd had 'extra time' they would have put it to good use. So I'm counting this as 'extra time' and doing just that ! "I'm guessing Freda has many years of extra time ahead, but we never really know what's around the corner. So I'm thinking in future of treating each day as 'extra time' and following Freda's example? That way it's possible to put the gift of a day to good use - whether it's 'extra' or not.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
The other day got a couple of 'real goodies' in my emails and so I had to posting them on here - enjoy !
~~~
Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about little Jamie
Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. 'Guess what, Mom,' he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me..... 'I've been chosen to clap and cheer.'

This brings to mind collecting Louis from Nursery yesterday - he was sporting a plastic 'gold' medal for participating in a football competition .. and his eyes were sparkling with pride .
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
An eye witness account from New York City, on a cold day in December, some years ago: A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. A lady approached the young boy and said, 'My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!' 'I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,'was the boy's reply. The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.
She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel. By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, 'No doubt, you will be more comfortable now.'
As she turned to go, the astonished child caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her. 'Are you God's wife?'
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
SENT TO ALL WHO LOVE AND CARE FOR CHILDREN.
Hope this gave you all a smile - it sure did mine ! (tears too).

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
The AWWWW Factor...


Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.

Grey Incandescence


But the light, instead of being the dawn, turned out in a very short time to be the dusk. And the sun, instead of rising higher and higher in the sky as I confess I confidently expected, calmly set, and night, the passing of which I had just celebrated after my fashion, calmly fell again. Now the reverse, as you might say, I mean day closing in the twilight of the dawn, I must confess to never having experienced, and that goes to my heart, I mean that I cannot bring myself to declare that I experienced that too. And yet how often I have implored night to fall, all the livelong day, with all my feeble strength, and how often day to break, all the livelong night.


That's from Malone Dies which -- like Woolf's Orlando and Musil's "Perfecting of a Love," this has come at such a perfect moment for me -- the sensation again of reading over lines which say better what I was so recently trying to say myself. First this dawn-dusk, and then there is this --

But before leaving this subject and entering upon another, I feel it is my duty to say that it is never light in this place, never really light. The light is there, outside, the air sparkles, the granite wall across my window, but it does not come through. So that here all bathes, I will not say in shadow, nor even half shadow, but in a kind of leaden light that makes no shadow, so that it is hard to say from what direction it comes, for it seems to come from all directions at once, and with equal force. I am convinced for exampe that at the present moment it is as bright under my bed as it is under the ceiling, which admittedly is not saying much, but I need say no more.


And he continues -- there is so much and I will have to continue some other time.

Grey Incandescence


But the light, instead of being the dawn, turned out in a very short time to be the dusk. And the sun, instead of rising higher and higher in the sky as I confess I confidently expected, calmly set, and night, the passing of which I had just celebrated after my fashion, calmly fell again. Now the reverse, as you might say, I mean day closing in the twilight of the dawn, I must confess to never having experienced, and that goes to my heart, I mean that I cannot bring myself to declare that I experienced that too. And yet how often I have implored night to fall, all the livelong day, with all my feeble strength, and how often day to break, all the livelong night.


That's from Malone Dies which -- like Woolf's Orlando and Musil's "Perfecting of a Love," this has come at such a perfect moment for me -- the sensation again of reading over lines which say better what I was so recently trying to say myself. First this dawn-dusk, and then there is this --

But before leaving this subject and entering upon another, I feel it is my duty to say that it is never light in this place, never really light. The light is there, outside, the air sparkles, the granite wall across my window, but it does not come through. So that here all bathes, I will not say in shadow, nor even half shadow, but in a kind of leaden light that makes no shadow, so that it is hard to say from what direction it comes, for it seems to come from all directions at once, and with equal force. I am convinced for exampe that at the present moment it is as bright under my bed as it is under the ceiling, which admittedly is not saying much, but I need say no more.


And he continues -- there is so much and I will have to continue some other time.

The Story of 'TAPS'/Companions and the Window Videos/Scam Warning...

" Good Morning " ......


Having had a quick swatch of this post before I published it I thought OMG it's a right depressing subject - but it is the story of something which happened in history and you know what they say about history - it makes us what we are ! On saying that I wonder why the blazes we never learn that war really answers nothing, it only causes more problems, hurt and suffering and the folk that pay the heavy price are Billy and Jane Public......

I have therefore kept my post as it was ......

'TAPS'~~~~~~
Day is done - Gone the Sun
From the Lakes, From the Hills, From the Sky,
All is well - Safely rest - God is nigh ,
Fading light dims the sight
Add a star - Gems the sky
Gleaming light from Afar Drawing nigh falls the night
Thanks and Praise For our days
Neath the sun ,neath the stars, Neath the sky,
As we go - This we know - God is nigh !
~~~~~~
I too have felt chills while listening to 'Taps' but I had never seen all the words to the song until now, when I received it in an email from my Brother-in-law in Dumfries. I had never heard the story behind the song and wondered if any of you had heard it either - so I thought I would pass it along. It makes me think of all the lost, harmed and injured while serving their country in many conflicts all over the world and those men and women who are presently serving in the Armed Forces from 'all the airts and pairts'.

"If any of you have ever been to a military funeral in which Taps was played; this brings out a new meaning to it. Here is something Every American should know...but most don't, until they read this: We in the United States have all heard the haunting song, "Taps". It's the song that gives us that lump in our throats and usually tears in our eyes. But, do you know the story behind the song? If not, I think you will be interested to find out about its humble beginnings. Reportedly, it all began in 1862 during the Civil War, when Union Army Captain Robert Ellicombe was with his men near Harrison's Landing in Virginia. The Confederate Army was on the other side of the narrow strip of land. During the night, Captain Ellicombe heard the moans of a soldier who lay severely wounded on the field. Not knowing if it was a Union or Confederate soldier, the Captain decided to risk his life and bring the stricken man back for medical attention. Crawling on his stomach through the gunfire, the Captain reached the stricken soldier and began pulling him toward his encampment. When the Captain finally reached his own lines, he discovered it was actually a Confederate soldier, but the soldier was dead. The Captain lit a lantern and suddenly caught his breath and went numb with shock. In the dim light, he saw the face of the soldier. ;It was his own son. The boy had been studying music in the South when the war broke out. Without telling his father, the boy enlisted in the Confederate Army. The following morning, heartbroken, the father asked permission of his superiors to give his son a full military burial, despite his enemy status. His request was only partially granted. The Captain had asked if he could have a group of Army band members play a funeral dirge for his son at the funeral. The request was turned down since the soldier was a Confederate. But, out of respect for the father, they did say they could give him only one musician. The Captain chose a bugler. He asked the bugler to play a series of musical notes he had found on a piece of paper in the pocket of the dead youth's uniform. This wish was granted."

The haunting melody, we now know as "Taps" used at military funerals was born.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I received these videos the other day and as I'm a soppy nut I just had to pass them on , being 'tear tweakers' they fairly had me running for a hankie ...
Companions pps and www.tom-phillips.info/powerpoint/the.window.pps

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
I am ending todays post with a message about folk getting scammed - I know that this post with the 'Taps' post is like going from the sublime to the ridiculous but I would stress that this is not a fake scam so watch out . I am usually the one decrying the senders of FALSE warnings about Viruses etc which are going to wreck your hard disk etc.

This post is a GENUINE exception. A long standing and respected private customer called me concerned he had been called by a company called Support On Click who claimed he had a computer problem they had been advised of by his internet provider. They asked him to open a file on his computer using the RUN command which shows various genuine programs running. They told him “Ah this was his problem” (they did not mention what the “problem” was though!). The call centre operator -, who had a STRONG Indian accent, talked fast and in a manner which was difficult to follow but assured the customer this could be resolved if he allowed them to log on to his PC – but surprise, surprise they would need to charge him - £60 on this occasion before issuing him with a pin number to use a remote access site. Smelling a rat the customer decided not to progress and on mentioning he would have to ask his local IT man for advice the call centre cut the call mid sentence.

The customer had the good sense to get the number from his Call Display – 01274900834, a Bradford number. If you have a couple of minutes put this number – no gaps – into Google and have a look at the forums / discussion pages, complaint pages etc. people have been scammed and are still being scammed. Pretty self explanatory. We decided to call the company in question and ask how they’d got the gentleman’s (I said he was my father) information. Needless to say they cut me off. I tried this three times before calling and asking to speak to “the manager”. The “manager” came on the line and could at best be described as sounding and behaving like “Ali G” – “why is you so angry man”, “Cool”, “be calm” – despite his splendid calm manner he declined to give me the postal address of their office and insisted they had no postal address, finally he put the phone down on me.

We have traced the line to Bradford (Thanks to BT) and have spoken to the Office Of Fair Trading this afternoon who are passing the complaint all the details to Trading Standards both In Bradford and Dumfries . This company’s scam is widespread. No wind ups, no jokes – this is 100% genuine. Can you PLEASE ensure you inform friends, family & colleagues, anyone who has concerns or doubts put the number above into Google and read for yourself the tales of woe from all manner of people. Anyone who HAS had a call from these people should call their local trading standards telephone number and will be put through to the Office of Fair Trading Service who now vet calls – choose option 3 and tell them all about it.

Finally – if you are ever in ANY doubt – DON’T DO IT. We are happy to give you, our customers proper advice. If we don’t know (we didn’t with this one) we will look into it and will advise further. The last thing we want is customers having their computers compromised with the possibility of identity theft or cash being taken from bank accounts etc.
AML Technology - The PC People - Serving SW Scotland and N Cumbria
Tel: 01387 251065 Fax: 01387 267949 http://www.amltechnology.co.uk/
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~


Cheers from the land of the Heather and the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.

Some Special Sillies for Sunday ...


Good Morning Sunshine !

It's a 'funnies' post today because the sun is shining (for a change) and we are going to get all dickied up in our best bibs and flaunt the new addition to our 'family' i.e. our 'Clio (car) to our friends and relations hehehe... For some time (years) you see, our car has been the 'rattletrap' of the bunch and our mode of transport has been the butt of all the jokes. So this will be a ner ner nee ner ner moment if you know what I mean ... Oh I know that the jokes have been given (and received) in fun and laughter - but it will be 'good fun' to see different kinds of smiles than when our old car puffed and spluttered up the road......

For anyone who hasn't seen a haggis or haggi - Please click on the image to enlarge ...


THEY WALK AMONG US

'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family on Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. ' It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut B) An Elephant C) The Moon
Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.'
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 ?seconds hun.'Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds. 'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it. 'To everyone's astonishment, Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'' I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright...... So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans. Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.' Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer. 'Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact C, 'The Moon.'
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Duh ??? They Walk Among Us. and not only that, they reproduce and vote!
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Here's another funny, from 'Millionaire' ...



??? ......
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
This is one of our radio celebs speaking to a switchboard telephonist and kidding her on about 'Haggis racing' at Wembley Arena. It's a scream to us here, though it might not seem as funny to folks not used to the Scottish accent ... just have a listen though and see if you can get the joke hehehe... If you know what Haggis are you will find it really funny ! The poem at the top of this post should give you an idea of what a Haggis actually looks like .....
Hector Brockelbank on Burns night!
-> Haggis
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
My Time's UP? A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't recognize you!"



Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.

Precision




There is so so much in these Diaries of Musil. Every page. And also in Malone Dies (more on that later). I feel like I'm swept up in one of those eddies of convergence that used to be so familiar and are now so rare.

From Musil --

Today I came across Mach's lectures on popular science which proved to me at just the right time that it is still possible to base an existence on the understanding and for that existence still to be deeply significant. In the final analysis I've never doubted this -- but I'm here taking the precaution of reminding myself again.


How often has this happened? Some span of time will hit me wherein all seems desolate, wherein all attempts at understanding seem like rote job training. Just yesterday I felt this. And then, lying in bed this morning, books at my side and a cat purring on my chest things felt entirely different. I suppose I will always love mornings for just this reason -- they begin something.

Musil also says --

The paths of intellect are strange ones. One can say that, in the course of evolution, the intellect has made the greatest progress. But one could also express this as follows: in the course of evolution, intellect has shown the least degree of stability.

Intellectual progress has always simply consisted in correcting, at every stage, the errors that one produced {for oneself} at the previous stage.

and then --

it is the quality of understanding that demonstrates the greatest capacity for giving shape and substance to any human life.
And finally, he writes, in a letter which he has excerpted into his diary --

I'm experiencing the old conflict between brain and the rest of the nervous system, between the pleasure in logical speculation and that more 'lyrical' kind I've practiced in recent times. In my last letter I was still very angry with the understanding -- I'm always moving from one state to the other and will probably continue to do so for some time to come. It's a full year since I wrote a piece of any consequence and when I think back it appears to me like one of those many Sunday afternoons that I used to spend in my shadow-filled room -- reading a sentence from some book or other, then moving to the desk to fetch a sheet of paper or a box of matches, then stopping next to the desk or window and standing for ten, twenty minutes, the object motionless in my hand as I stared out vacantly -- then another sentence, and so on until dusk and supper.


This letter goes on, it is wonderful. It also recalls Malone's description of light and greyness --

Precision




There is so so much in these Diaries of Musil. Every page. And also in Malone Dies (more on that later). I feel like I'm swept up in one of those eddies of convergence that used to be so familiar and are now so rare.

From Musil --

Today I came across Mach's lectures on popular science which proved to me at just the right time that it is still possible to base an existence on the understanding and for that existence still to be deeply significant. In the final analysis I've never doubted this -- but I'm here taking the precaution of reminding myself again.


How often has this happened? Some span of time will hit me wherein all seems desolate, wherein all attempts at understanding seem like rote job training. Just yesterday I felt this. And then, lying in bed this morning, books at my side and a cat purring on my chest things felt entirely different. I suppose I will always love mornings for just this reason -- they begin something.

Musil also says --

The paths of intellect are strange ones. One can say that, in the course of evolution, the intellect has made the greatest progress. But one could also express this as follows: in the course of evolution, intellect has shown the least degree of stability.

Intellectual progress has always simply consisted in correcting, at every stage, the errors that one produced {for oneself} at the previous stage.

and then --

it is the quality of understanding that demonstrates the greatest capacity for giving shape and substance to any human life.
And finally, he writes, in a letter which he has excerpted into his diary --

I'm experiencing the old conflict between brain and the rest of the nervous system, between the pleasure in logical speculation and that more 'lyrical' kind I've practiced in recent times. In my last letter I was still very angry with the understanding -- I'm always moving from one state to the other and will probably continue to do so for some time to come. It's a full year since I wrote a piece of any consequence and when I think back it appears to me like one of those many Sunday afternoons that I used to spend in my shadow-filled room -- reading a sentence from some book or other, then moving to the desk to fetch a sheet of paper or a box of matches, then stopping next to the desk or window and standing for ten, twenty minutes, the object motionless in my hand as I stared out vacantly -- then another sentence, and so on until dusk and supper.


This letter goes on, it is wonderful. It also recalls Malone's description of light and greyness --

Fun With Numbers

I was checking out Yahoo's page on the Tigers and they had some interesting numbers that I hadn't seen yet from last year. This led to me looking at other unusual stats and whatnot from the team...unusual meaning not Nate's ERA or Inge's batting average. Here's a few that stood out to me in no particular order.

.472: The OBP of opposing hitters against Verlander when he's over 100 pitches. (In his case, that usually means the 5th or 6th inning.)

.464: Batting average of opposing hitters against Verlander when he's behind in the count.

25: Home runs by Brandon Inge the past two seasons combined. He hit 27 in 2006.

.323: Opposing batting average against Edwin Jackson in the first inning.

17: Batters that Dontrelle Willis faced that got a 3-0 count against him. All 17 walked.

160: Games played by Miguel Cabrera last year to lead the team. Maggs was second with 146 and Polonco and Granderson tied for third with 141. Thanks, Miguel.

5: Homeruns by Mike Hessman in only 27 at bats. That's a dinger every 5.4 at bats. Give him a chance.

7: RBIs by Hessman. Get some guys on for him, too!

9: Strikeouts by Hessman in 27 at bats. Sigh.

28: Homers allowed by Galarraga to lead the team. Nate was second with 26. Too bad we quit letting him start.

0: Homeruns allowed by Clay Rapada last year in 21.1 innings pitched. The only other guy to pitch for us last year to not allow any homers? Yorman Bazardo didn't give up any in his 3 IP last year. He did, however, have a 24.00 ERA in those 3 innings.

3,202,645: Home attendance of the Tigers last year. A team record. That's a lot of pissed off people.

1: Complete game by Verlander to lead the team.

2.07: K/BB ratio of Galarraga to lead the team.

71: Walks to lead the team. The leader? Granderson, of all people.

12: Granderson's steal total...again, the team leader, somehow.

8: Times Inge got hit by a pitch to lead the team. Opposing players don't like him either.

27: Times Magglio hit into a double play to lead the Tigers. I thought that was Gary and Renteria's job.

6: Blown saves by Rodney. Zumaya had 4 in his limited time. Hideki Okajima and JJ Putz lead the AL with 8. Strangely enough, K-Rod had 7.

135: The best ERA+ of any guy to pitch in a Tigers uniform last year. The guy? JASON FREAKIN' GRILLI! Second? Denny Bautista with an ERA+ of 134. Man, we sucked last year.

Finally, our records against the AL Central. 6-12 vs. the White Sox. 7-11 vs. the Indians. 7-11 vs. the Royals. 7-11 against the Twins. No wonder we finished last. We only had winning records against three AL teams. We were 4-2 against the Yankees. 7-3 against the Mariners. Finally, 6-3 against the Rangers. We went 13-5 against the NL.

Enjoy Spring Training kids. We're finally here.

Strangeness



I am hanging on to this term -- small successes in logic, in teaching, in writing -- but I have less and less time for any outside work. I still manage to read through some fiction and have just started Malone Dies, having decided to jump straight into this (following Molloy) instead of moving on to some of Walser's other fiction, which I borrowed from the library last week.

I found this immediately:

A bright light is not necessary, a taper is all one needs to live in strangeness, if it faithfully burns.


I wonder about my reaction to that sentence (strong), and also about my immediate desire to import so much meaning to it, to rip it from the pages and paste it up over my own life. This phrase 'rings true' -- but then I think again that it only rings true for a different me -- one of years ago, maybe even months ago, but not now. I live more and more on the surface these days, restless in stretches of time. I'll move on now -- this restlessness comes from knowing about obligations -- I have so many, for there is always another paper to write, another batch of papers to mark, another paper to read, notes to take, correspondence to continue, etc. And I grow inert and static -- I flip on my procedural crime dramas and pet the cat and cook a meal that takes some fraction of an hour to prepare.

There is no more strangeness -- well I don't know what sort of strangeness the narrator is speaking about, but MY sort of strangeness has dissipated. I used to be strange, I think. Now -- in these comfortable moments -- moments of restlessness, sure, but also of comfort -- for I crest every wave that comes at me -- that has not changed. [I've paused here to wonder whether I have begun writing between my two web-spaces -- I can never discern what belongs where and this happens to my often -- I start writing in one web-box and then the words start to creep beyond boundaries and slink away over to some other realm, crabwise]. But back to strangeness -- I wonder now whether the strangeness before was feigned -- like des Esseintes crafting his decadently beautiful world, full of strangeness, replete. The tapers were collected because they scatter a delicate, animal-like light over things -- light which moves, jumps, spreads, intensifies, fades, flutters, rests -- it's a light which adds strangeness because it adds motion and life where before motion and life had no place.

So perhaps that's what I think about this strangeness -- it was a posture before, just as so much is a posture now. Masks grow familiar when worn overlong -- and it's easy to cite Nietzsche here and tell this story as the tale of some sort of greatness. That great old wine-casket, banded green and rolling around. It isn't. Or maybe I've understood him poorly (probably). This is a tale of cowardice and necessity (the normal-person sort, not the philosopher-sort).

Lately I listen to simple country songs. They seem real. They are about God and playing music and loved ones and children and the country. They are not strange to me.

Strangeness



I am hanging on to this term -- small successes in logic, in teaching, in writing -- but I have less and less time for any outside work. I still manage to read through some fiction and have just started Malone Dies, having decided to jump straight into this (following Molloy) instead of moving on to some of Walser's other fiction, which I borrowed from the library last week.

I found this immediately:

A bright light is not necessary, a taper is all one needs to live in strangeness, if it faithfully burns.


I wonder about my reaction to that sentence (strong), and also about my immediate desire to import so much meaning to it, to rip it from the pages and paste it up over my own life. This phrase 'rings true' -- but then I think again that it only rings true for a different me -- one of years ago, maybe even months ago, but not now. I live more and more on the surface these days, restless in stretches of time. I'll move on now -- this restlessness comes from knowing about obligations -- I have so many, for there is always another paper to write, another batch of papers to mark, another paper to read, notes to take, correspondence to continue, etc. And I grow inert and static -- I flip on my procedural crime dramas and pet the cat and cook a meal that takes some fraction of an hour to prepare.

There is no more strangeness -- well I don't know what sort of strangeness the narrator is speaking about, but MY sort of strangeness has dissipated. I used to be strange, I think. Now -- in these comfortable moments -- moments of restlessness, sure, but also of comfort -- for I crest every wave that comes at me -- that has not changed. [I've paused here to wonder whether I have begun writing between my two web-spaces -- I can never discern what belongs where and this happens to my often -- I start writing in one web-box and then the words start to creep beyond boundaries and slink away over to some other realm, crabwise]. But back to strangeness -- I wonder now whether the strangeness before was feigned -- like des Esseintes crafting his decadently beautiful world, full of strangeness, replete. The tapers were collected because they scatter a delicate, animal-like light over things -- light which moves, jumps, spreads, intensifies, fades, flutters, rests -- it's a light which adds strangeness because it adds motion and life where before motion and life had no place.

So perhaps that's what I think about this strangeness -- it was a posture before, just as so much is a posture now. Masks grow familiar when worn overlong -- and it's easy to cite Nietzsche here and tell this story as the tale of some sort of greatness. That great old wine-casket, banded green and rolling around. It isn't. Or maybe I've understood him poorly (probably). This is a tale of cowardice and necessity (the normal-person sort, not the philosopher-sort).

Lately I listen to simple country songs. They seem real. They are about God and playing music and loved ones and children and the country. They are not strange to me.

Split-World


[Sassetta -- The Blessed Rasnieri Rasini Freeing Poor People From Prison in Florence]
[via the article below]



From Cabinet, Issue 32, "The Cosmonaut of the Erotic Future" by Aaron Schuster:

For Lacan, the precarious situation of the cosmonaut hooked into an impenetrable mechanism is not an isolated or extreme case, but reveals the universal condition of the human subject. We are all erotic cosmonauts, split between our everyday, phenomenological life experience and the computing apparatus -- what Lacan calls the "symbolic order" -- that parasites our body and secretly controls our thoughts and desires. The lot of the modern subject, adrift in a universe of significations without substantial support or foundation, is perfectly encapsulated by the "experience of the cosmonaut: a body that can open and close itself weighing nothing and bearing on nothing."

Split-World


[Sassetta -- The Blessed Rasnieri Rasini Freeing Poor People From Prison in Florence]
[via the article below]



From Cabinet, Issue 32, "The Cosmonaut of the Erotic Future" by Aaron Schuster:

For Lacan, the precarious situation of the cosmonaut hooked into an impenetrable mechanism is not an isolated or extreme case, but reveals the universal condition of the human subject. We are all erotic cosmonauts, split between our everyday, phenomenological life experience and the computing apparatus -- what Lacan calls the "symbolic order" -- that parasites our body and secretly controls our thoughts and desires. The lot of the modern subject, adrift in a universe of significations without substantial support or foundation, is perfectly encapsulated by the "experience of the cosmonaut: a body that can open and close itself weighing nothing and bearing on nothing."

A Pet Post - Dogs! Soppy and Funny/ and David Beckham in Bother - Again!

David Beckham - Typical Man ! (he can't help it)...



OOOHHH David ! You 'ARE' in bother ......

Hi Folks,

This first part of this blog today comes from an email which arrived from my Brother-in-law in Dumfries - is a really soppy story and I warn you that the message is a weepy one so I would advise you that you will need at least one hanky nearby.... OK LOM! - can you hear me ??
A Dog's Purpose? from a 6 year old.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.'' Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live. He said, ''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?'' The Six-year-old continued, ''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.

''Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly." Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy. Take naps. Stretch before rising. Run, romp, and play daily. Thrive on attention and let people touch you. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY! "Animals come into our lives as gifts from God, for companionship, to teach us, and to heal us.

They deserve our very best efforts in caring for them"... Dr. Ihor Basko, DVM
Now 'that' is some message isn't it ??
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Another of the soppy videos that I love and a lot of other folk do too.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
In the same sort of vein though not a weepy one - have a wee look at this little 'doohickey' ......
I have no idea how they do this: but quite cute for pet lovers . Type in a command and see what happens... sit, roll over, jump, down, stand, sing, dance, paw, fetch, play dead etc. and... it's also very cute if you type in a command that's not recognized...!! Make sure you type in 'Kiss' too, but do it last.



Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.
P.S. Hey lom guess what's coming to stay at my house from tonight ?? A year old Renault 'Clio' we are actually going to be saying Goodbye to our ancient Escort - wayhayyyyy ! She is sooooo beautiful and is a gorgeous shade of blue, kind of like the blue in this blog's heading - Azure Blue ? anyway it will make a change have never had a blue car before ! This answers your query about what we had been up to not having had our dinner until so late...... yayyyyy!!!

Ranking the AL Central...Again

Last month, I took a quick look at the AL Central and played optimist for once deciding the Tigers had the most impressive team in the division based on current rosters. But boredom does weird things to me and I decided to try and evaluate each team, position by position, and assigning a ranking to each team. For example, the team with the best second baseman would get 5 points, second best 4 points, down to the worst guy earning his team 1 point. It's not the greatest method to determine who has the best team, but ya know...I suck at math. Let's see how it works out. Here's each team's players at each position with how I ranked them in order.

CATCHERS: 1) Martinez/Shoppach, Cle, 2) Mauer/Redmond, Min, 3) Pierzynski/Stewart, Chi, 4) Olivo/Buck, KC, 5) Laird/Treanor, Det

We're not off to a good start as the Tribe has, quite simply, the best catching duo in baseball. Mauer's a stud in Minnesota with Redmond being a more than capable backup. A.J., while being a prick, has been a solid part of the Sox. Olivo and Buck aren't great, but they've been more solid than Laird and Treanor. More importantly, perhaps, our guys have never worked with this pitching staff before, with the exception of Treanor and Dontrelle Willis' time in Florida.

FIRST BASE: 1) Morneau, Min, 2) Cabrera, Det, 3) Konerko, Chi, 4) Garko, Cle, 5) Jacobs, KC.

Miggy's a monster for us, but Morneau just edges him at this point in my opinion. And while Konerko's getting older, Garko is going to lose time at first as the Indians will probably play Martinez there to get Shoppach more at bats.

SECOND BASE: 1) Polonco, Det, 2) Cabrera, Cle, 3) Casilla, Min, 4) Callaspo, KC, 5) Getz, Chi.

By far, the weakest position in the Central. Polonco's the clear winner here. However, the Royals have been talking with free agent, Orlando Hudson. That could change things.

THIRD BASE: 1) DeRosa, Cle, 2) Gordon, KC, 3) Inge, Det, 4) Buscher, Min, 5) Fields, Chi.

Learn to hit, Brandon. You've had long enough. Losing Joe Crede to free agency hurts the Sox here as Ozzie Guillen has publicly said that he's not sure Josh Fields is the answer at thrid base for them. DeRosa, hopefully, won't be the Tiger Killer than Casey Blake was, but he's the cream of a weak crop at third in the Central.

SHORTSTOP: 1) Ramirez, Chi, 2) Peralta, Cle, 3) Aviles, KC, 4) Punto, Min, 5) Everett, Det.

Peralta and Aviles are a close call. And Adam Everett chose to wear #4. He'll have a career ending injury by June 1st.

LEFT FIELD: 1) Quentin, Chi, 2) DeJesus, KC, 3) Guillen, Det, 4) Young, Min, 5) Francisco, Cle.

Quentin would have won the MVP last year if he hadn't gotten injured. And if you've ever seen The Big Lebowski, you know that you do not f--- with DeJesus. Carlos hasn't really played outfield before, but he's a better hitter than Little Dmitri and Francisco.

CENTER FIELD: 1) Sizemore, Cle, 2) Granderson, Det, 3) Gomez, Min, 4) Crisp, KC, 5) Owens, Chi.

Please, Curtis. Prove me wrong here. I hate Grady Sizemore.

RIGHT FIELD: 1) Dye, Chi, 2) Ordonez, Det, 3) Choo, Cle, 4) Cuddyer, Min, 5) Guillen, KC.

Jermaine Dye scares me to death every time he comes to the plate. The only guy that's scarier to me than him is Jim Thome. Choo may have a breakout year in 2009, but Maggs is still ahead of him for now.

DH: 1) Thome, Chi, 2) Hafner, Cle, 3) Sheffield, Det, 4) Kubel, Min, 5) Butler, KC.

Yep. Thome's one scary mofo. A nice guy, though, if you've ever met him. As for the rest, an injured Hafner or Sheffield is much scarier than Jason Kubel or Billy Butler.

ACE STARTER: 1) Lee, Cle, 2) Buehrle, Chi, 3) Verlander, Det, 4) Liriano, Min, 5) Meche, KC.

This is one tough group to rank. I can't see Cliff Lee repeating last year's success. Buehrle and Verlander...you never know. Liriano and Meche could easily become 1 and 2 by year's end.

#2 STARTER: 1) Greinke, KC, 2) Danks, Chi, 3) Carmona, Cle, 4) Slowey, Min, 5) Galarraga, Det.

Zack Greinke is Rod Allen's favorite pitcher for a reason. Danks is underrated and so is Slowey. Carmona could be an ace if he gets consistant. And Armando? Do it again, brother. Do it again.

#3 STARTER: 1) Floyd, Chi, 2) Baker, Min, 3) Bonderman, Det, 4) Bannister, KC, 5) Reyes, Cle.

Floyd's head and shoulders above the rest of these guys in my opinion. Now if Jeremy could stay healthy and throw a changeup...

REST OF ROTATION: 1) Minnesota, 2) Kansas City, 3) Cleveland, 4) Detroit, 5) Chicago.

Blackburn and Perkins could be #3 guys anywhere in the division except Chicago. That's why the Twins get the nod here. Davies and Hochevar are underrated in KC. Pavano and Laffey are question marks for the Tribe, but they're better than Detroit and Chicago's guys. We've got our mess of Jackson, Willis, Nate, and Minor. And Chicago has the ghost of Bartolo Colon and Clayton Richard rounding out their rotation. Big ups to the Twins at the back of the rotation. However, if Knapp is a miracle worker, we could move up here.

CLOSER: 1) Nathan, Min, 2) Soria, KC, 3) Jenks, Chi, 4) Wood, Cle, 5) Lyon, Det.

It's kinda sad to see what the rest of the Central has closing games compared to us, isn't it?

BULLPEN: 1) Cleveland, 2) Chicago, 3) Minnesota, 4) Detroit, 5) Kansas City.

Betancourt, Lewis, and Perez anchor one of the best bullpens in baseball for the Indians. The Sox aren't far behind with guys like Dotel, Thornton, and Linebrink. Guerrier, Breslow, and Crain could go either way for a questionable group in Twinkietown. Our guys suck. But the best guy in KC is The Farns, so I gave us the slight edge over the Royals.

BENCH: 1) Minnesota, 2) Cleveland, 3) Detroit, 4) Chicago, 5) Kansas City.

The Twins can start any guy off the street and he'll produce. Span and Tolbert proved that last year. The Tribe has solid guys like Carroll, Barfield, and Dellucci that can give the starters a rest and not lose much. Santiago, Thames, Raburn, and company are average for us. The Sox have a bunch of kids and Wilson Betemit. KC has a group of disappointments like Teahen, Shealy, and Bloomquist on the bench.

And finally...I promise...

MANAGER: 1) Gardenhire, Min, 2) Leyland, Det, 3) Guillen, Chi, 4) Hillman, KC, 5) Wedge, Cle.

Sure, they're not players, but managers do have an effect on the game. Gardenhire may be the best in the game at getting production out of players. I'm got Jim second, barely ahead of Ozzie. Ozzie's slightly crazier than Leyland and loses a point for it. Hillman hasn't had time to show much, but I think Eric Wedge is the worst manager in baseball. Most of my Indian friends agree.

FINAL SCORE
Chicago: 65
Cleveland: 57
Minnesota: 56
Detroit: 47
Kansas City: 40

Ugh. Not pretty if you're a Tigers fan. I'm actually surprised that the Sox came out so well in this, since I thought they had lost the most this offseason. Granted, this is all based on last year's production. Things can change...and I hope they do. Othewise, it's going to be a long year.

A few funnies and 'My new spare part '...


Hi Folks,

A Londoner parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before zooming off.
More than a little distraught, the Londoner grabs his mobile and called the police. Five minutes later, the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the man started screaming hysterically: 'My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it's at the panel beaters it'll never be the same again!' After the man finally finished his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust.
'I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Londoners are,' he says. 'You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life.' 'How can you say such a thing at a time like this?' sobbed the Porsche owner. The policeman replied, 'Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you.'
The Londoner looks down in horror.
'FLAMING HELL!' he screamed ........ 'Where's my Rolex????...'
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
MONASTERY MISTAKE .....
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head Abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.The head monk,says,'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.' He goe s down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old Abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wai ling. 'We missed the R ! We missed the R ! We missed the R !' Hi s forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is sobbing uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?' With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was... 'CELEBRATE!!!'
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these....
Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
P.S.
The spare part that I was awaiting (the new router) was delivered this morning - the only thing is that not being mechanically minded, if truth be told I am such a stranger I'm not even a pen pal of technology ! I am therefore very wary of trying to load it on to my system - yeah, I'm a right coward, I know, but inanimate objects have a habit of going wonky when I'm using them - well they do ! If I am in any way involved in trying to make them operate they get temperamental and crash... I might just leave the big 'load and switch on' until there is someone else with me who has a logical and mechanical mind - like my daughter in law Debz. She is 21st century girl who is fearless with problems like that. She approaches problems like that - philosophically, as far as she is concerned if she can't fix it she will just send it back, whereas I will sit and worry in case I do or have done something to cause the ruddy thing not to operate !!!
Way hayyyyy ! It's now fitted - no problemo signore !!! So we are now 'Cooking on Gas' as we say...

Love Kate x.

Adam Everett: Horrible Person

How dare you, Adam?

I know powerful people. I know seedy people. In fact, I AM a seedy person. With the exception of putting up Brandon Inge-like numbers at the plate or Nate Robertson-like numbers on the mound, there is only one thing...ONE THING...a Detroit Tigers player can do to turn me against them.

You do NOT take the number 4 as your uniform number.

Bobby Higginson, for reasons that make little to no sense, is my favorite baseball player of all time. No, I am not a teenage girl. But Bobby was my guy, for better or worse. You do not take his number...you never know. He might want to come back.

Look what happened to Cameron Maybin. He took #4. I placed some sort of weird voodoo curse on him and he got shipped off to Florida. Adam, you have injury problems...why would you bring this upon yourself?

There may still be time. Get another number. Tell them it was a mistake. I will take back my initial support of your signing and have you sent to Mongolia in a pine box...or worse...Pittsburgh.

Mr. Ilitch are I are old friends. Remember...you brought this on yourself.

Then again, if you hit .330 and win a Gold Glove, it's all good. And when that happens, Bondo will have the best changeup in the league, pigs will fly, and Rodney will wear his hat straight.

The Tallest Building / Do you remember when ?

In order to see this photograph more clearly I would suggest that you click on the image - you'll then get a better idea of the height of this amazing building ......



Hi Folks,

DO YOU KNOW WHO IS IN THE HIGHEST POSITION IN THE WORLD?
President Bush ?
Nope.
Barack Obama ?
Nope.
Pope Benedict?
Nope.
You wanna know WHO that person is ?

Babu Sassi, a fearless young man from southern India is the cult hero of Dubai 's army of construction workers. Known as the "Indian on the top of the world", Babi is the crane operator at the world's tallest building , the 819-meter Burj Dubai.
His office, the cramped crane cab perched on top of the Burj, is also his home. It takes too long to come down to the ground each day to make it worthwhile - although, when the building is completed, its elevators will be the world's fastest. Stories about his daily dalliance with death are discussed in revered terms by Dubai 's workers. Some say he has been up there for more than a year, others whisper that he's paid 30,000 dirhams ($8,168) a month compared with the average wage of 800 dirhams a month.
But everyone agrees, he's worth it - because nobody else would have the courage to do the job!
and from the sublime to the ridiculous ......
Do you remember when ??
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
All the girls had ugly gym slips It took five minutes for the TV to warm up ... Nearly everyone's Mum was at home when the kids got home from school ... Nobody owned a thoroughbred dog ... When 3d was a decent allowance... You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny Your Mother wore nylons that came in two pieces ...... All your male teachers wore ties and female teachers had their hair done every day and wore high heels ... You got your windscreen cleaned, oil checked, and petrol served, without asking, all for free, every time and you didn't pay for air and, you got trading stamps to boot ..... Washing Powder had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box..... It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents ... They threatened to keep children back a year if they failed. . and they did it! When a Ford Zephyr was everyone's dream car... and people went steady... No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked ... Lying on your back in the grass with your friends and saying things like, 'That cloud looks like a... 'Playing cricket with no adults to help the children with the rules of the gameBottles came from the corner shop without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect strangerAnd with all our progress, don't you wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savour the slower pace, and share it with the children of today.
When being sent to the head's study was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home... Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! But we survived because their love was greater than the threat. As well as summers filled with bike rides, cricket, Hula Hoops, skate hockey and visits to the pool, and eating lemonade powder or liquorice sticks.

Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, 'Yes, I remember that'? I am sharing this with you today because it ended with a Double Dare to pass it on. To remember what a Double Dare is, read on. And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care. Send this on to someone who can still remember Mr Pastry, 6.5 Special, The Army Game , Sunday Night at the London Palladium, Emergency Ward 10, the Lone Ranger, Hancock's Half hour, Trigger and Sgt Bilko
How Many Of These Do You Remember?
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Sweet cigarettes
Coca Cola in bottles.
You're never alone with a Strand.
Coffee shops with Table Side Jukeboxes. Blackjacks and bubblegums.
Home milk delivery in glass bottles with tinfoil tops.
Newsreels before the film. Telephone numbers with a word prefix...( Mayfair 3489). Party lines.
Peashooters. Andy Pandy.Hi-Fi's & 45 RPM records.
78 RPM records!
Green Shield Stamps.
Adding Machines.
Scalextric.
Do You Remember a Time When.. Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'? 'Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest? Catching tiddlers could happily occupy an entire day?
It wasn't odd to have two or three 'Best Friends'?
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was'chickenpox'?
Having a Weapon in School meant being caught with a catapault? Saturday morning television wasn't 30-minute commercials for action figures?
Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?The Worst Embarrassment was being picked last for a team? War was a card game?
Cigarette cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
Taking drugs meant orange - flavoured chewable aspirin?
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, Then You Have Lived! Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their 'Grown-Up' Life.

I Double Dare You .........
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~


Cheers from the land of the Heather and the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.