Pet Funnies ...

Hi there ......

Help yourselves to a cuppa and a seat - as I'm still up to my neck in decorating today's blog is a mix of emails from my BIL in Dumfries, I hope you enjoy them - and hopefully my 'upset and chaotic' house will be back to normal next week ...

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.
This continued off and on for several weeks.
Curious I pinned a note to his collar: "I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is
and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
"He lives in a home with 6 children -- 2 under the age of 3 --
he's trying to catch up on his sleep.
Can I come with him tomorrow?"

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Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean. John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.
After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared a breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?' His grandfather replied, 'They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!' For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, 'Are you sure these plates are clean?' Without looking up the old man said, 'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!' Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John yelled and said Grandfather your dog won't let me get to my car'. Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted! 'Coldwater,
go lay down now, yah hear me!'

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I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday School class to see if they understood the Concept of getting into heaven. I asked them,
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my Money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" "NO!" the children answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would
that get me into heaven?"
Again, the answer was 'No!'
By now I was starting to smile. "Well then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven ?"
Again, they all answered 'No!' I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued," Then how can I get into Heaven ?"
A six year old boy shouted

"Yuv goat tae be bleedin' deid ! "

Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.