Friday Funnies /St Paddy-s Day / Mr. Gorsky / Neil Armstrong Video.

Hi Folks,

Is this picture not the epitome of fun and enjoyment it seems to shout out Yippppeeee!!




I'm still up to my eyes in paintwork at the moment though at the latter stages of doing me artist's bit - so I have just put up some funnies for yer deliberation, so I hope you enjoy them!!

Aussie Humour ...

A Northern Territories ranch hand, radios back to his Ranch Manager, over 100 miles away.

'Boss, I got one helluva problem out here..... I hit a ruddy pig with
the truck. The pig seems to be 'OK', but he's real stuck in the 'roo-bars on the
front, he is wriggling and squealing so badly, ah just can't get 'im out.

The manager says,'Ok, there's a .... 303 Rifle behind the seat in the
rack, take it out and shoot the pig, then you should be able to remove it.'

Five minutes later the ranch hand calls him back...'I did exactly what you said
Boss. Took the gun out, shot the pig in the head and removed him from
the bull-bars. No problem there, but I still cannot go on ' ?

'So what's the ruddy problem na mate?' raged the annoyed Manager.


"Well boss, it's like this ....his motor-bike....its stuck under the truck's wheel arch
and the bloody blue light on the back, it won't stop flashing..'

' Hullo...............................................'ullo Boss - you still there ? '

OOOOPPPSSS !!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ Irish Humour ...


Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. 'Damn' he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Damn!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on his face..

'By'Jeebers .... I'm a little crocked,' he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says 'No damn' way'. He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says 'I can make it to the bed'. He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says ' Damn it ' and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, 'Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night ? Paddy says, 'I did, Jess. I was really crocked. But how'd you know?'

Mick phoned . . . you left your wheelchair at the pub.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

GREAT PS... GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU SMILE

ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.


HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, "THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.

BUT JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."

MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGH IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT.

HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.

OVER THE YEARS MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY" STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.

ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY , FLORIDA WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION TO ARMSTRONG. THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED.

MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION.

IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WEST TOWN , HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD. HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW.

HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS.. GORSKY.

AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY:


"ORAL SEX! YOU WANT? ORAL SEX?! YOU'LL GET ORAL SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"
THAT ONE IS APPARENTLY A TRUE STORY - whether it is or one of these urban legends who knows...


Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.