Blethers / No Fat Danger in the 50's / Sense / Jokes..



Hi There,


'Shambles' is in total chaos at the moment, my brother in law is helping us out with decorating, by ' helping' I mean that he is painting the ceiling in the Lounge as neither Rob nor I are now able to do this job, so Rob is keeping him company while he works (holding him back more like). Once he has finished the ceiling I 'll then take over and do the paintwork and then the walls. Oh I'm so looking forward to getting it finished, we can get the carpet and get it laid...... It's sooo long since we decorated and badly needs it. The next rooms to be tackled will then be the hall, the Dining Room and lastly the spare bedroom, so it's all go at Shambles Manor. I'll need to change the name - as with a bit of luck and some hard work the house will no longer be a shambles (I hope).

Why is it that when I have something I'm desperate to start that everything else seems to go wrong ?? Our car needed a service and they (the garage) have been phoning requesting us to come and deliver it for this.... no problem ?? Well you would think so, but as usual there is some administrative error and they were going to charge us .... We have only had the car since February and it has warranty which should cover the charge. We ended up having to go to the garage yesterday - wasting two hours good 'painting time' to sort out their error argghh .... Anyway, the car is now booked in for Thursday - hopefully just for 1 day, though a certain weird and funny noise has been emanating from the engine, so according to the garage we might have a problem with our water pump, alternator or summat else ....

I've just had a look round this morning and am desperate now to get going with a paint brush and roller and Louis is arriving any moment so I'll not be able to start until his Dad collects him at tea-time. Tomorrow morning I can really get stuck into the painting yayyy! Anyway, enough about painting ...

Some nuggets of sense ......

By TW

Experience is what we get when....we don't get what we want.

By Paula G
I have learned that you have to take one day at a time; otherwise, you might go nuts worrying about everything.

By D Stewart from South Carolina

What I learned from my mother: No matter where you go in life or what you achieve, never forget where you came from. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter. And those who matter don't mind. -Dr. Seuss

By Imaji P
I have learned that those who BLAME others for their misfortune remain LAME.

By Tootsie Roberts
I once was concerned with the cattiness and hatefulness of people that stopped by my office. I sometimes felt victimized, but in checking with co-workers, I found that it was not focused toward me; the same people act the same with others also. I learned to consider the source.

By Joy from San Antonio, Texas
I've learned that what you have is the only thing you can give away. I've learned that when I am lonely, sad, bitter, angry…that is what I give to my children. When I am happy, joyful, hopeful, peaceful, loving...that is what I give to my children. Get the good stuff so that you can give the good stuff to your children. Your children are your life!

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
He Said, She Said ......

He said...I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear pants don't you?

He said...Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said...That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

He said...What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

On a wall in a ladies room..."My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it... "I do not"

Q.How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A.Both of them.

Q.How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A.He buys two cases of beer.

Q.What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A.The bonds mature.

Q.Why are blonde jokes so short?
A.So men can remember them.

Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A.We don't know; it has never happened.

Q.What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q.Why are married women heavier than single women?
A.Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q.What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A.They're married.

and the best for last ...... Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."



Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.