Paddy is looking for a job / Stephen Hawking / Blind Biker ...

Hi Folks,

This first item appealed to my sense of fun and enjoyment...... Oh I know some pernicketty folk will think I am making fun of the Irish and although it might seem that way I can assure you that having spent a 'very happy enjoyable year' in Clonmel, County Tipperary many years ago, in another lifetime ( with my then first husband and my eldest son Graeme who was three years old at the time ). There's no way I would insult the Irish - my love for them is undaunted and overflowing...

They have many weird and wonderful ways of saying things which I adored and I found myself copying the way they spoke and sometimes even doing so without thinking about it ... OK so ?? I would call my neighbour across the road 'Mrs Torenton' instead of 'Mrs. Thornton' 'cos everyone else did. Only realising when my then husband asked me to repeat her name ... I loved (and still do) the lilt of the Irish accent as spoken in that area of Ireland and I could listen to an Irish accent all day. Even listening to a native "callin out to all the saints in Heaven to get down here to God's good earth so that she could get her washin dried before the 'feckin rain appeared'! Even swearing didn't seem the same somehow !! OK So ? Here goes ......

Irish Maths Test ...... Paddy wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little maths test. Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" Paddy says? "Dat's easy." And proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Have you no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says Paddy. "Fair enough," says the boss.

"Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." Paddy stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree... "Ere ye go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of them trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire Paddy, so he says,

"All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." Paddy stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere ye go. One hundred." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"

Paddy leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers, "A little dog came along and pooped by each tree. So now you got a dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes One Hundred !"
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This next item is excerpted from The Best Way Out Is Always Through...
Defying the Diagnosis......... It was 1962. Stephen Hawking was just twenty-one years old when he received the awful news that would change his life—he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. It’s a devastating diagnosis: the disease is progressive, incurable and fatal. His doctors told him he had just a few years to live. At the time, Hawking was a doctoral student at Cambridge, having already earned a degree from Oxford. But his research hadn’t been going well; he was unmotivated in his work and bored with his life. His diagnosis was a turning point: he could either give up his studies and wait to die, or he could make the most of what time he had left. At first, he chose the road of despair and resignation.

He wanted to give up because he didn’t see any point in finishing his degree if he was going to die soon. But he didn’t give up for long. Through the encouragement and love of his girlfriend, Jane, he pulled out of his despair and found the fire and determination that had been missing before his diagnosis. He married Jane in 1965, finished his studies, and got a job at a university. True, he was afraid of dying, but even more, he was afraid that he would die without achieving anything in his life.

Hawking and Jane had three children together, and she devotedly cared for him year after year as his disease progressed. While his body was deteriorating, his career was blossoming. He was elected as one of the youngest Fellows of the Royal Society in 1974, became a Commander of the Order of the British Empire in 1982, and became a Companion of Honour in 1989. These acknowledgements and public honours were bestowed on Hawking for his contributions to the fields of theoretical cosmology and quantum gravity, especially in the context of black holes. He has published hundreds of research papers, as well as six books. His runaway bestseller was A Brief History of Time, which stayed on the Sunday Times best-seller list for a record-breaking 237 weeks—unheard of for a science book.
It’s been over forty years since Hawking got his diagnosis from the doctors. He defied their prediction of an early death, as well as his early impulse to give up. Now completely paralyzed, wheelchair-bound and compelled to use a computer voice synthesizer, he is a respected scientist, a world-renowned celebrity and an inspiration to millions. In a 2005 interview, Hawking said, “It is a waste of time to be angry about my disability. One has to get on with life and I haven’t done badly. People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.” That’s not a bad credo to live by.
Stephen Hawking is some man ...... He would put the majority of folk on this earth to shame with his courage and determination ! Long may he live as an example of courage and guts in this world ......
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Can you imagine this ? Just letting go and being a man who will not be put down or put aside, he has enough lottery money to do whatever he wants - and can then just enjoy the feeling of unbridled joy at the experience !

Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.