New Boat / Adult Learning / Non Operative Gadgets ...


Hi Folks,


This item stems from an email received from my BIL - he sure gets some funnies...
Boat Launching Procedures... So here it is. My friend just bought a new boat and decided to take 'er for the maiden voyage this past weekend. This is his first boat and he wasn't quite sure of the exact Standard Operating Procedures for launching it off a ramp, but he figured it couldn't be too hard. He consulted his local boat dealer for advice, but they just said "don't let the trailer get too deep when you are trying to launch the boat". What did he do wrong? Well, he said he didn't know what they meant by that as he could barely get the trailer in the water at all! Anyhow, here's a picture . See for yourself. What was he doing wrong?
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This next one shows my weird sense of humour and hopefully some of you will think it funny too.
The Adult Learning Centre - Registration must be completed by Friday 24th July, 2009....... Late registration available NOTE: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents class sizes will be limited to 8 participants maximum...

Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 PM

Class 6 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14 The Stove/Oven-- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors .
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Talk about problems that folk around the world commonly experience with electrical goods - I've just read June Saville's blog in Oz and I 'so' agree with her and was sympathising with the problems she had been encountering in regard to her food processor gadget trying both her patience and her purse... you see my fridge/freezer has been acting up and last week it 'really' went on the bung ! It has been mucking me about for the last year or so but I have been sorta helping it along as it were - hoping that it would last till I could finally afford to renew it ... Well I thought I would manage to check out what new ones were available and finally get one this month hehe.. I thought... No such ruddy luck!

What happened ?? well last week my vacuum cleaner packed in and in our flat we have plain unpatterned Navy blue carpeting throughout - the problem with it is that even small pieces of thread shows up and can drive me insane !!! I went looking for a second hand Dyson (great vacuums and usually very dependable) .... So what happened ? I came home with one (practically new at £96). I thought I'd got a bargain and it even had a year's guarantee !! Should've known - when I got home I plugged it in... it lasted all of five minutes till it cut-out ! Next day I took the thing back and the man there who owned the place apologised profusely and said I could choose another one out of his stock - even a more expensive one as he likes to think that his reputation in providing a good service remains ... Great ! so I headed home thinking I'd won a watch ! (translation - got a super bargain).

It worked okay apart from two little problems, firstly the suction was sooo great that after hoovering the carpet in the Living Room and our Bedroom I was knackered and my back was killing me .... There must be something wrong with this one too ! So, I will have to go back to see the bloke again to exchange it for one which works but doesn't cause me to injure my ancient back and cause me to be bedridden for a week after using it...... The other 'tiny problem' was that when I lifted it down the two steps from the hall to the spare bedroom the dust canister thing unhinged from the rest of the machine and opened - spraying dust and dirt everywhere ARGGHHH !!! So guess what, I will be returning 'this one' in a couple of days - that is when my back has recovered from using it twice and I'm then able to hobble along with my elbow crutches.

I'll let you know what happens ! Roll on next month when I'm able to go and check out which Fridge Freezer we will be buying , wonder how we'll get on then... Why is it that years ago folk would buy things which lasted - Oh at least 5 years till after the warranty expired at least, before causing problems like this...
Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.