Men !! / An accident on Holiday / Fishing Trip / Game .

Oooerr, Isn't it great to be able to have peace to just relax......

Hi Folks,

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. 'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Alton Towers theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Corkscrew, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park... Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge Cola, and her favourite sweets...........M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being twelve again?' Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. 'I meant my dress size, you idiot " !!
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening - he is going to get it wrong !!!
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were on holiday in Europe ... as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a hire car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree. Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road.

After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?""I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"Bob brings his wife in.An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist.. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training.

I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory." With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more. The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music.. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: "Master, Master! ..... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

Hehehehe ...... You really should've seen that coming, mind you - what did you expect ? It's free from a demented friend on the Internet.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Pete and his buddies were hanging out ...... and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Pete headed home frustrated. The following week when Pete's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Pete. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Pete?" "I didn't have to," Pete replied. "Last week when I left our meeting, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then the ol' lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise!'."
"When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want'... SO HERE I AM!"
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I received this last item yesterday morning ... from my BIL in Dumfries and because I have a kind of child-like (and addictive) personality I 'HAD' to have a few shots at trying to imprison the cat - an hour later I was still at it ! I finally succeeded in nailing the moggie to the cell - but I warn you - if you are like me and enjoy playing these type of games you just HAVE to finish the game once you start it - so watch out, it's really quite addictive...

Cheers from the land of the Heather and the Tartan, Love Kate xxx