Funnies / Cute Bear Film / A Michael Jackson video

Hi Folks,

Well we have sunshine today in the land of the Tartan and the Heather, which is something of a miracle after the rain and wind of the last few days - it's quite amazing what a difference that big yellow ball being visible makes to everyone, I mean people actually smile at each other...... and talking of smiles today I have loaded a few good smile stories - starting with some Blonde jokes - always a good pool to dip your laughing muscle into - so enjoy !!

Two blondes with hammers (a very dangerous exercise) ... Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanityhouse. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nailpouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?' Carol explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.' Donna got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!'

You might think twice about this one ... A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting offyour finger? ''No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest.''So then?' asked the doctor.'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 toget my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.''So then?''Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

A blonde was driving home after a game ..... and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the window first!'

A blonde was shopping at Target and came across ..... a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk toask what it was.. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos....... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.'' Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing......I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.. 'What's that,' he asked?' Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied... Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blond replied - 'Two popsicles and some coffee.'

and lastly: If I only had a brain ...... A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I.Q. 20 points. After a battery of physical and psychological tests, the center's director told him that he was an acceptable candidate. "That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive." "Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a politicians brain is seventy-five thousand dollars." "Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a politician's brain? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked, "how many polititians we would have to kill ?"

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
This video is different from my usual ones, have a looksee - WARNING Don't sit too close to your screen ...... I just about jumped six feet off my seat . It is said to show Michael Jackson's Ghost and is definitely what I would call ...... A Thriller !

I'm ending the blog today with a wee video which shows a wee bear cub and how he manages to escape some danger from a cougar ...... sorry about the quality of the video - sometimes it is inclined to stop every now and again please try and 'bear' with it ...

Cheers from the land of the Tartan and Heather, Love Kate xxx.