Is it a Conspiracy or Alien Abduction ? / Funnies ...

Hi Folks,


I start this post today bemoaning the disappearance of the lists of 'followers' from many blogs, the followers lists have been vanishing from blogs over the last wee while and I have begun to wonder whether this phenomenom was being caused by a virus - or maybe it is intentional (via a 'mad' conspiracy by the computer folk ). Perhaps it is even one of these things which come under the banner of Alien abduction and all of these 'lost souls' will be condemned to wander around in the ether looking for new blogs which can entertain them ?? Either way I hope the problem can be fixed soon and all 'followers' can be reunited with their choice of blogs as soon as possible ....

By the way, has anyone else noticed how Twitter seems to be taking over the 'net these days, is this part of a plot against us (bloggers that is) ? Blimey,will it soon be the case that 'blogs and blogland' will be defunct. We will then all be consigned soon to having to 'twitter' instead of comment and talk using what brains we have. Hmmm... I wonder if all the followers have been hogtied and persuaded to join the 'birds' - surely not - but what do the rest of you think Huh ??

Never mind folks, let's at least change subjects and try having a laugh at some Funnies ....... Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound note that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands and as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor........ The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested. The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared .........

Now you're going to hate me for this...... 'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 AT TESCO '

Well I thought it was funny ! Oh, It's not that bad! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friends and then send it on to my other warped friends.

The Last Penny ......... A father walked into a restaurant with his young son.. He gave the young boy 3 pennies to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy started choking and going blue in the face.. The father realized the boy had swallowed the pennies and started slapping him on the back.. The boy coughed up 2 of the pennies, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father was panicking and shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; took hold of the boy's testicles and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.. After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last penny, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman handed the penny to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? " 'No,' the woman replied. "I'm with the Inland Revenue" - OOOppsss ......

I was going to set up a video to finish off this message ...... the only thing was that every time I tried to set it up to load on to my blog the ruddy thing stuck and refused to load properly.... What is it with technology and me - umpteen blogging folk can post videos and do all sorts of great technical tricks on their blogs and I manage to ' successfully' post videos for all of three blogs, then my followers disappear, then the video thingy flips - arrrghhh ! I'll just need to give up on technology ...




Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.