Blethers about sight and a few funnies ......

I want a 'timestopper' - just like this one \/



Hi Folks,
I received a reminder letter the other week asking me to go for a sight test as it had been over 2 years since my last one. I have been wearing glasses for over 40 years and have therefore since then been having my eyes tested regularly. I was kind of wary though about the way the optician reacted when she checked out the photograph showing my eyes and after she had another look she asked if she could give me another wee test which would enlarge my pupils and render me unable to drive for a few hours which meant that she could do the photo test again.
Me, being a right worry-wort and cowardy custard and brought up on all these 'old' sad and weepy film stories where the hero or heroine caught some terrible disease and went blind or something was imagining all sorts of things picturing that my eyes showed some very rare disease which would mean that I would be going blind...... this is something which would to me, be the very worst thing that could happen.

Imagine not being able to see Rob or our ever extending family growing up, not being able to see our wonderful world with its sunsets, gorgeous sea scapes, snow on the hills or the rare sight of that yellow ball in the sky ...... (y'know the one which we don't often see in Scotland ). Blimey, not even being able to see the rain lashing down . All these things were running through my ancient brain and these thoughts were all falling over themselves until she finished doing the test and finally sat down turning to face me - I took a gulp and waited for her to say her piece !

What was it ? Cataracts in both my eyes, the relief was enormous, it's only about eight months since since I had ferried Dorien to and from the hospital where she had had the procedures done to cut out the cataracts from both her eyes, first one eye and then 2 months later the other. She had been overjoyed not to have to wear glasses constantly (the only time she would need to wear glasses after having the procedure done was because she was short-sighted as well as long-sighted - therefore only when she read or watched TV ) ...

The same situation would apply to me too this means that for most of the time I will not be required to have glasses so , rather than putting on these 'nuisances' first thing in the morning and laying them down before I go to sleep, I will also be free to wear 'real' sunglasses wonderful ! Sunglasses and fashionable ones at that ...... wayhayy ! Even better, just think - It will be done free ! (typical Scot do I hear you say? not really, but I will be able to swank it in front of my younger brother who has just spent a fortune paying for his son to have the Lasik surgery ) .

The only fly in the ointment now is that I'll have to wait until my cataracts are ripe for removal - In the meantime I have two pairs of glasses being made up for the next two years... So I left the opticians office with my purse once again having been emptied by another £200... Roll on ripening cataracts !

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Cows .........
The only cow in a small town in Australia stopped giving milk. The townsfolk found they could buy a cow in New Zealand quite cheaply. They brought the cow from New Zealand and it was wonderful, produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed.

The people were very upset and decided to go the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.
If he approaches from the back, she moves forward, they said. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempt from the one side, she walks away to the other side.
"The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by any chance, buy this cow in New Zealand?" The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from New Zealand. "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow in New Zealand ?
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife's from Auckland."

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This last item is called 'The Cane Toad' in which a Cane Toad called Daz tells us about his pal Baz It's a bit near the knuckle in language but nevertheless fun - so I hope you enjoy it !




Cheers from the land of the Heather and the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.