Blethers...

Hi there Folks ......

It's mine - No! it's mine ...... Hey! No it's not - it's mine !!!

Hi Folks,


This first item is written in 'Scots' and if anyone should require translation I would be happy to oblige and explain - though I doubt if anyone would need it - which reminds me , when Susan Boyle was being interviewed on the Oprah Winfrey show the other week she had the nerve to put up subtitles ! surely people in these days of worldwide travel folk don't need translations - In order to cover this eventuality, I have typed a translation of the children's comments at the school below !

Our Prime Minister GORDON BROWN was visiting a Scottish primary school and he called in at one of the classrooms. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr. Brown if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So 'our illustrious leader ' asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.
***A little boy stood up and offered: 'If ma best freen, wha lives on a fairm, is playin' in the field an' a tractor rins ower him and kills him, that wid be a 'tragedy.' ' 'No', said Gordon - 'that would be an accident.' A little girl raised her hand: 'If a skale bus kerryin' fufty children drove ower a cliff, killing a'b'dy inside, that wid be a tragedy' 'I'm afraid not', explained Gordon - 'that's what we would call a 'great loss'' .
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Gordon searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally, at the back of the room, wee Johnny raised his hand... In a quiet voice he said: 'If a plane kerryin' you and Mr. Darlin' (The Chancellor of the Exchequer) wis struck by a 'freendly fire' missile & blawn tae smithereens, that wid be a tragedy.' 'Fantastic!' exclaimed Gordon. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'
'Weel,' says wee Johnny 'it his tae be a tragedy, because it certainly widnae be a great loss.....
and it probably widnae be a flippen accident either! ***
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Translation
(Broad Scots to English).
~~~~~~~~~
***A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playin' in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy.' ' 'No', said Gordon - 'that would be an accident.' A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy' 'I'm afraid not', explained Gordon - 'that's what we would call a 'great loss''.
The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Gordon searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?' Finally, at the back of the room, wee Johnny raised his hand... In a quiet voice he said: 'If a plane carrying you and Mr. Darling (The Chancellor of the Exchequer) was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to small pieces, that would be a tragedy.' 'Fantastic!' exclaimed Gordon. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'
'Well,' said wee Johnny 'it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss.....and it probably wouldn't be a ruddy accident either! ***
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Butt Dust...
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What, you ask, is 'Butt dust'? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These are original and genuine. No adult is 'this' creative !

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mum breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mum why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'
STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mum good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mum explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mum asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mum knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

The Sermon is one I think this Mum will never forget .. This particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mum, what is butt dust?'


and on that 'happy and childlike note' I will say Cheers to All from the land of the Tartan, Lots of
Love Kate xxx.