'Blethers' about Feet / Funnie / Live for today / A Magic Trick ...

Hi Folks,

Warning to anyone squeamish or who hates hearing about feet or toenails - Please miss today's piece ......

Today my 'wee' sister L who is 12 years younger than me, got her toenails done , now when I say 'done' I mean she had her 'big' toenails taken off 'Ouch' ! ('cos they were ingrowing-again). I got a phone call at tea-time tonight from her wondering why I hadn't phoned her earlier..... The wee soul was feeling a bit miffed and left out you see !

Anyway, I apologised and asked how she had got on - I should explain that in our family we have a lot of problems with 'feet' - well not so much feet, more with ingrowing toenails. I apologise to the folk around blogland who don't like people talking about feet but you were warned .

Starting from my Mum and one of her sisters and on down through my family to my brother N, my brother C, my sister D and sister L and myself we have all had problems with ingrowing 'big' toenails and I can tell you that this problem is no laughing matter. Each of the aforementioned folk have taken advantage of the health service in that we have all had large toenails removed and my brother C, Aunt E and 'yours truly' have each had the roots of the aforesaid nails killed hehehehehe - well supposedly ! The problem is that in every blessed case the ruddy things still persist in regrowing and especially in my case they grow like thick unsightly flippen claws if you know what I mean.... For goodness sake people, they are able to send spacemen and women to the moon and yet they seem to have a problem in killing the roots of difficult and errant toenails. Oh Lord ! I hope no one is partaking of food at this time.

So, as I already said L was on the blower busy telling me the ins and outs of how the Doctor in Dumfries did the deed and how 'wonder of wonders' it hardly hurt at all... Isn't medicine fantastic folks ! This operation my little Sis had today was done, believe it or not because her son is getting married next year and she was determined to wear decent shoes to the wedding and not her usual 'trainers' or 'Crocs' if you know what I mean.

My problem now is that I have been able till recently to wear 'normal' shoes - well shoes that normal folk wear but I must admit that 'recently' I have felt the usual painful tingle which precedes the onset of another painful ingrowing toenail - so I am gathering up my courage in both hands (and feet) to offer up my feet for toenail removal - AGAIN ! I think it would be an idea this time though to give my business to the Health section down at Dumfries as they seem to have worked wonders , in that L had it done relatively painlessly...... Now I should make the point at this juncture that we all have very ticklish feet and anyone working on our feet takes their life in their hands when they dare to 'TOUCH' our feet as they chance of getting a kick in their faces (if you know what I mean - not intentionally you understand, purely via an automatic reflex).

I wonder when they sorted L's toenails if they realised all the extra business they would gain ? Either way folks, I'm next in line - because I wouldn't mind being able to wear a pair of dressy heeled shows for a change too... So, if you hear through the grapevine - or even the press that a certain clinic in Dumfries is doing a roaring trade you'll know what they are talking about .

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A Good one from my younger daughter-in -law ..

One morning, ......... a husband returns their boat to the lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along came a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulled up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. ''Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's very likely she can also think.

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Recently ......... A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: 'This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package.' He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box. 'She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, she was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died.

He turned to me and said: 'Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion'. I still think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less. I sit on the porch without worrying about anything. I spend more time with my family, and less at work. I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day... I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it. I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words 'Someday...' and ' One Day...' are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it 'now' ... I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favourite food - It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come..

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special. Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one. If you're too busy to do something and you say I'll do it 'One of these days' , just remember that 'One day' is far away or - it might never come...

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To tie up with the cartoon at the beginning of this post I will end it with a video which was shown on our televisions on April 1st 2008 and it caught a lot of people 'on the hop ' as it were - I know I have shown it before but you probably will enjoy seeing it again ......
and how they did it .........

Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.