Funnies / OOpss.../ Retired Folk Fun / Funny Video...


Thank goodness they can still maintain their sense of humour over there !




Hi Folks,

This one is what we would call a 'stoater' of a joke ! Enjoy !

Joe went to the Doctor complaining of constant headaches ......... The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press onyour spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Joe was shocked and depressed.. He wondered if he had anything to live for.He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit.'He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.' Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'' Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.' The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years.' Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?' Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.' The salesman said, 'Let's see..... size 36.
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.' The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'

New suit - £250
New shirt - £36
New underwear - £6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS !!!
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This next item is especially for lom - I know you're not retiral age yet missus but after my comment about you taking the opportunity to relax in your blog yesterday I received this in the email post from my brother-in-law in Dumfries. Enjoy !

What do Retired Folk do all day ? ......... Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting? Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a ####-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We went into town by bus. We always try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's so important at our age you know to keep exercising our funny bones and our laughter muscles ahem .... ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

This last item is another one of Grandma Faith's funnies - It cracked me up completely and I thought it was the funniest thing I had seen or heard in ages, when I grow up I want to be just like Gladys on the phone to Ellen Degeneres .... she's hilarious ! Have a look at the video ..... http://www.members.shaw.ca/gf1/ellen-and-gladys.html




Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.