An Aussie Treasure/Some Funnies/2 Videos Gems...

Hi Folks,

For those that don't know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an 'Australian treasure! General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently. Read his his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC radio interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radiocast went silent for 46 seconds and when it returned, the interview was over. OOOPPPPSSS !!




Can you imagine the amount of patience needed to complete the above?


This one had me laughing out loud - Enjoy !
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The pharmacist walked into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
He asked the blonde clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk responds, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him a bottle of laxative."
The pharmacist says , "You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"
The clerk responds, "Of course you can - look at him, he's afraid to cough."
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MOTHERS
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Real Mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn't come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' and get their answer when a little voice says, 'Because I love you best.'
Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade... It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother...
The Images of Mother
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4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows,
and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!
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One morning a Scotsman was having breakfast in Paris, (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and marmalade) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Scotsman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Frenchman: 'You Scots folk eat the whole bread?' Scotsman (in a bad mood): 'Of course.' Frenchman (after blowing a huge bubble): 'We don't. In France , we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Scotland .'
The Frenchman has a smirk on his face. The Scotsman listens in silence. The Frenchman persists: 'Do you eat marmalade with your bread?' Scotsman: 'Of course.' Frenchman (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling): 'We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into marmalade, and sell the marmalade to Scotland.' After a moment of silence, the Scotsman asks: 'Do you have sex in France ?' Frenchman: 'Why of course we do', he says with a big smirk. Scotsman: 'And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?' Frenchman: 'We throw them away, of course.' Scotsman: 'We don't. In Scotland , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France .'
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beauty.of.night.pps


Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.