Some Special Sillies for Sunday ...


Good Morning Sunshine !

It's a 'funnies' post today because the sun is shining (for a change) and we are going to get all dickied up in our best bibs and flaunt the new addition to our 'family' i.e. our 'Clio (car) to our friends and relations hehehe... For some time (years) you see, our car has been the 'rattletrap' of the bunch and our mode of transport has been the butt of all the jokes. So this will be a ner ner nee ner ner moment if you know what I mean ... Oh I know that the jokes have been given (and received) in fun and laughter - but it will be 'good fun' to see different kinds of smiles than when our old car puffed and spluttered up the road......

For anyone who hasn't seen a haggis or haggi - Please click on the image to enlarge ...


THEY WALK AMONG US

'Millionaire' Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family on Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. ' It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut B) An Elephant C) The Moon
Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.'
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 ?seconds hun.'Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds. 'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it. 'To everyone's astonishment, Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.'' I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright...... So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans. Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.' Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer. 'Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact C, 'The Moon.'
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Duh ??? They Walk Among Us. and not only that, they reproduce and vote!
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Here's another funny, from 'Millionaire' ...



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This is one of our radio celebs speaking to a switchboard telephonist and kidding her on about 'Haggis racing' at Wembley Arena. It's a scream to us here, though it might not seem as funny to folks not used to the Scottish accent ... just have a listen though and see if you can get the joke hehehe... If you know what Haggis are you will find it really funny ! The poem at the top of this post should give you an idea of what a Haggis actually looks like .....
Hector Brockelbank on Burns night!
-> Haggis
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My Time's UP? A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years. Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied: "I didn't recognize you!"



Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.