Growth


[Miranda Lehman]
[She has a new album, Sleepwalker, released under the recording name Kourova -- www.korouva.com. It's beautiful and haunting]



The eternal formula, the key to this world and the beyond. (Oh, Robert, why do you use, for things that are so indifferent to you, such highly charged words!), did Kant, did any other discover it? Can anyone ever find it?!

I have never finished reading Kant but I don't let that keep me awake at night, nor do I feel that I shall die with shame because another man has already grasped the world in its entirety.

There are truths but no truth. I can quite well assert two totally antithetical things and in both cases be right. It's not permissible to weigh ideas, one against the other -- each has a life of its own. Cf. Nietzsche. What a fiasco it is if one tries to discover any system in his work except for the spirit which the wise man chooses as his guide.

Another species is made up of those who loved greatly -- Christ, Buddha, Goethe -- myself, in those days of autumn when I was in love with Valerie.

These do not seek after any truth, but they feel that something within them is coming together into some kind of whole.

This has something purely human about it -- a natural process.

And such people can balance one idea against the other, for that new thing which grows within them has fastidious roots.

--Robert Musil -- Diary, 1902


These days I sometimes long for ignorance, or at least for erosion -- some erosion of mind or idea -- weathered, foxed, forgotten. But I suppose this too shall pass in its own time -- this learning of new things. Exams, papers, discussions -- forgotten, eroded, weathered, foxed. I still worry about this forgetting -- I also worry about holding on tight to the few things I have collected. But more and more often I feel my grasp slacken. -- These days it is so easy to forget.