Silly Saturday !

~~~ This is the Sugar Plum whatsit bringing you a few Saturday funnies!


~~~ ~~~ ~~~ A view I need to see often to keep me going ...

~ OMG is 'this' what folk look like when they have been together for a long time?

Hi Folks,

Well, I had a day away from Rob yesterday - I went down to Helensburgh and met my girlfriend and we had a girl's day out - a chinese meal, some shopping and then home to her house for a long chat and a catch-up and cuppa before I left to come home. It was brilliant and a real change to get away from the house (and Rob) for a wee while. I hadn't been to Helensburgh for months and it was great to relax, have a look at the sea, breathed in some sea air and relaxed while I just 'had a gab'. So I'm feeling a bit more like myself and ready for the total madness that is Christmas as well as trying to cope with a sick and fed-up husband who is not used to being ill !

I have a few new funnies so I hope you enjoy some laughs on this 'Silly Saturday'...
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OOOHH My !
The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. (couple shown in the above photo) Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.' The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.. 'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man. 'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.' Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. 'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.' The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. 'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked. That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!' The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer. 'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...' 'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.' The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your flippen bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!'
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Computer Problem
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year Old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem as he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, IDTen T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.' Richard grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T errorBefore?''No,' I replied.'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.' So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T I used to like the little beggar !
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OOpppppsss...
A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'
'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'
'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'
So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.
Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.
Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.
'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'
Another runner moved along side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'
'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'
Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'

'Nope...just when it's raining.
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Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.