Funniest commercials and Jokes...

Ahem.. and they talk about woman being nosey..


OOps - and she told me he was away this weekend...
SOOOO True ...
OHHH MY ............

Hi Folks,

This wee video is the funniest ever, there are about 5 different commercials in it, yet it only lasts about a minute.
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems
.... 'Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya at teyhk a look, if ya woot'.So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.'Incredible'he says, 'there is a £20 note lodged up here.'Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and then a £10 pound note appears.'This is amazing!'exclaims the Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?''Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man!'shrieks the patient.The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and anotherand another and another, etc.....Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.'Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter. Just out of interest,
how moch was in dare den?'The Doctor counts the pile of cash and says '£1,990 exactly.' 'Ah, dat'd be roit,'' says the Irishman.(Wait for it...........scroll down.)

I knew I wasn't feeling two grand..'
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you'll love this...A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, 'How much money do you make a week?' A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, 'I make $400 a week. Why?' The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, 'Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back!' Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, 'Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did around here?' From across the room came a voice, 'Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.'
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
The sad thing about this one is that it's believable!!

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well. Suddenly, the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire . The fart shakes the coach. The smell is atrocious! Both passengers in the carriage must use perfume-dipped handkerchiefs over their nose, but the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the incident. The Queen turns to President Bush saying, "Mr President, please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control."
Bush, with his usual diplomatic aplomb, replies, "Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses."

Cheers from the land of the Heather and the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.