Things kids say / Talking clock / Funnies...

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ The Talking Clock !

Hi Folks,


Talk about out of the mouths of babes and sucklings - how about some of these things said by young 7 year olds when they were asked 'What they thought of beer'. Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.'--Tim, 7 years old,

'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.'--Melanie, 7 years old

'My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.'--Grady, 7 years old

''My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.'--Toby, 7 years old

'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.--Sarah, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.'--Lilly, 7 years old

'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'--Ethan, 7 years old

'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep. '--Shirley, 7 years old

'My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'--Jack, 7 years old .
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Joke (The Talking Clock - shown above)
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After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
'What's that big brass gong?'' one of the guests asked.'It's not a gong. It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend.'Yup,' replied the drunk..'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.'Watch,' the drunk replied.He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering poundand stepped back.The three stood looking at one another for a moment.......Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, ' You Numpty! It's three-fifteen in the morning!'
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Some extra funnies...
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My daughter (now 19) was about 2 years old when we sat down at the dinner table to eat. When asked if she would like to say the blessing, she was excited to pray. With hands folded and heads bowed she began...God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food..... if he hollers, let him go...eeeenie...... then she realized what she said and looked up at all of us who were laughing hysterically.
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A little girl was sitting on her Grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again . Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago. "Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honour thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."


Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.