Rupert the baby Deer!


Hi Folks,
This tiny deer was delivered by Caesarean section at a wildlife hospital after his mother was killed by a car. Little Rupert, who is so small he can fit in an adults hand, was born after vets failed in their battle to save his mother. At just six inches tall and weighing just over a pound, he is now in an incubator in the intensive care unit at Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire.

He has only recently opened his eyes. Les Stocker, founder of Tiggywinkles, said: Rupert's mother had very severe injuries. We brought him out and got him breathing and then he went into an incubator on oxygen. He is now being fed by a tube. Tucked up: Rupert in an incubator Rupert pulls a striking pose for the camera Staff are optimistic Rupert, now five days old, will make a full recovery. Deer are very, very tricky but this one has spirit. He's an extremely feisty little guy and quite pushy...

I got a couple of funnies from my brother-in-law in Dumfries yesterday and so I thought I would pass them on to you, I warn you though, try not to be eating when you are reading I think there's a chance that you might choke - I did and my coffee went everywhere...

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After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve 'So, how is everything going?' enquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these three breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain,' reported Eve and Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc.......she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced,' as she put it. 'That is a fair point,' replied God, ' But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.' And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes. Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. 'Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?' 'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight on your part. You see all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.' God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see ..... where did I put that useless tit? '
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that daft story about the rib?

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An 80 year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?' George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof, the light goes on. When I'm done, poof, the light goes off.'
'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife. 'Ethel,' he says, 'George is doing fine, but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof, the light goes off? 'Oh my God!' Ethel exclaims. 'He's peeing in the refrigerator again!'

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Oh and I must finish off with a wee poem

If your life is clouded, by worry or by grief,
If you feel you're shrouded, in despair without relief,
Remember shadows only fall , when sunshine's up above,
The clouds will pass, revealing all the brightness and the love.





Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather - Love Kate xxx.