New wine for Oldies... and other jokes...


~~~ There are big ships and small ships but the best kind of ships are friendships

Hi Folks,


I saw this joke on one of yesterdays emails and couldn't resist it - I think it's funny, what do you think ?

~~ New wine for senior citizens.

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night. The new wine will be marketed as:


~~~ PINOT MORE ~~~


What do you think Huh ? He sees the joke anyway -
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The other day I told a joke relating to a girl going to see her priest for confession and I apologised first in case I caused any upset, Rob and I went out for a meal last night and Rob being Rob (The life and soul of the party) told the two jokes below to a friend (who by the way regularly visits the Church and Confession in particular). I felt my face going red with embarrassment - I need not have worried. John (the friend) thought the jokes were hilarious and proceeded to tell the friends who were with him as well.

So I have added the other two jokes in this blog which I had previously thought were funny but a bit near the knuckle, and not very ' P.C.' they had also been in the email I had received from my Brother-in-law down south. So Here they are :

An elderly man walked into the confessional and the following conversation ensues, Man : I am 92 years old have a wonderful wife of 70 years old , many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Yesterday I picked up two College girls, they had been hitchhiking, we went back to a hotel where I made love with each of them three times.

Priest : Are you sorry for your sins ? Man : What sins ? Priest : What kind of Catholic are you ? Man : I'm Jewish ... Priest : Why are you telling me all this ? Man : I'm 92 years old, I'm telling everybody !

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Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could you' be saying a mass for the poor cratur? "

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not: we cannot have services for an animal in the Church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the cratur."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya think £5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?"

Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?"
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I still feel a bit uncomfortable retelling these jokes - probably something to do with living in the West of Scotland and my upbringing... religion is not something to be joked about, well I don't as a rule, hence the discomfort.





Cheers from the land of the Heather and the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.