Mousecatcher ? / Jokes / Bubbles the Monkey.

~~~ ~~~ I would think this is what's called a useless mouse-catcher ~~~ ~~~

Hi Folks,

I have been clearing out old emails which I had received from my Brother-in-law and I thought I would have a decco over them to see whether or not they could be gussied up and reused here at the site, so here goes, enjoy !

A man was walking down the road and saw something at the side of the kerb, he picked it up and rubbed it to see what was written on it - The lamp went "poof" and a genie appeared and said he could grant the man a wish the man said - "I would like the most special job that any man could get and that no other man has succeeded at doing in History" . The genie went "poof" again and said to the man "Okeydoke - there you are, I've made you a Housewife" !!

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A skinny little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring up at him, looks down and says: "7ft,350lbs, 20in private, 3lb testicles, Turner Brown. "The wee guy faints and falls to the floor ! The big guy kneels down and brings him to - shaking him . The big guy says: "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says. "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone asks me... I'm 7 ft tall, weigh 350lbs, I have a 20inch private, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown.

"The small guy says "Turner Brown?... Sweet Jesus, I thought you said... "Turn around!"...

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For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to raise the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discreet, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. One day , about 9 months later, he came home to his rather confused wife, "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh" he said "just give it to me and I'll explain it later"... The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and then fainted. On the card was written:

Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Three with meatballs, two without"..... "SEND EXTRA SAUCE"....... BOOM BOOM !!

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For a final laugh have a look at Bubbles in the video - I thought this act was hilarious, so just click on the undernoted code - Enjoy ...

Cheers and laughs from the land of the Tartan , Love Kate xxx.
(P.S. Hope you enjoyed them ).