Cat Pictures/ 2 old ladies /Installing a Husband!


Hi Folks,


Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. the thin one leaned over and Said, 'Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10 I'd take my clothes off And streakthrough that stupid flower show!''You're on!' said the other old lady, holding up a $10 bill. The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, Completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) Through the front door of the flower show.Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside thehall, Followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. The smiling and naked Old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.'What happened?' asked her waiting friend.'I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement. '

How is YOUR day going?
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

First you had trouble getting out of bed You had a stiff neck You washed your hair and couldn't do a thing with it You felt like you had a hangover and you weren't even drinking last night Your new diet really doesn't seem to be working out You pulled a muscle when you tried to exercise Your new hat looked better on you at the store You keep losing things The boss chewed you out at work You got caught in the rain at lunchtime Then the lunch you had didn't seem to agree with you ou feel trapped Uninvited guests showed up at dinnertime On top of that you think you're coming down with the flu and finally, you're alone in the house at night when you think you hear a noise in the basement ...... MAYBE TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER!!

INSTALLING A HUSBAND ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as* Romance 9.5 and* Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as* NBA 5.0,* NFL 3.0 and* Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.* Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do? Signed, Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE:

First, keep in mind,

Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while * Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.*

Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend * Cooking 3.0 and * Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!




Cheers from the land of the Tartan, Love Kate xxx.