2 Feel Good Stories and Some Funnies...

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ A Scotsman's bar stool
Hi Folks,

A friend Dawn and I were discussing the trials and pitfalls of bringing up children the other day. She recalled the first time she had left her son Alex at home by himself. Alex was 18 and Dawn had heard enough horror stories to convince her there would be a party in the flat the moment she left town. Amazingly though everything was fine when she got back.

It was only a few weeks later, when Dawn was discussing her trip with her downstairs neighbour, that she found out what had really happened. The neighbour had gone up to ask Alex to turn his music down, Alex had apologised and turned it down right away. There was no party and no-one else in the flat - and the next morning Alex knocked the neighbour's door and apologised for the noise. Like Dawn, we often fear the worst with our children but, as Alex quietly proved, most of them as boys and girls to be proud of.

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Stacey reckoned it was a daft idea when someone suggested it. It would be embarrassing. Then, standing at the checkout of a DIY store, she cheerfully asked the assistant taking care of her purchase. "So what's making you smile today?"

The assistant looked puzzled for a moment, then her expression softened and she told Stacey all about a weekend away her family had just been on. Filled with a new courage, Stacey started asking more people, she found that no matter how dour a person seemed at first, when asked to find a smile they could. Being reminded of it brightened their day and that brightened Stacey's day. Now she even has it on her answering machine. So - with thanks to Stacey for the idea - you know what I'm going to ask you, don't you? What's making you smile today?

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John has been very busy sending me lots of funnies and I like sharing smiles - enjoy!

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . please advise.' The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'

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Whether Liberal or Labour , I think you'll get a kick out of this! A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. and your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.' So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night,! he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father,
'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. ' The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.' The little boy replies,

'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.
The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep doodoo "!
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Subject: Quickie

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong.
'Yes, Nurse,' said Mr. Wallace. 'My Private Parts died today, and I am very sad.'
Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.'
The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Parts hanging out of his pajamas.
When he met Nurse Tracy she said, 'Mr. Wallace, you shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Parts back inside your pajamas.' 'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace. 'I told you yesterday that my Private Parts died. 'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'

(You've gotta love this ....) "Well," he replied, 'Today is the viewing."

Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.