grumpyoldwoman tag + Men are happier + Joke

Hi Folks,


I 've been tagged by grumpyoldwoman... Hi Grumpy, OK now........

1) Where was I ten years ago ? I was preparing to move to another area of Glasgow and was up to my eyes in packing cases - I had just remarried and was full of the joys of being a Mrs again - to 'live in sin' was something I found really difficult to continue to do, so after over eight years of 'sinning' he made an honest woman of me hehehe...

2) What's on my ' to do' list for today ? Not a lot - except looking after my youngest grandchild Louis 'cos it's Wednesday - At least he goes to Nursery till lunch time now, so I'm not'completely' knackered by the time he get picked up at tea-time. He's such a wee gem though - I really enjoy looking after him - he is 'such ' a funny wee man' (and just like his Dad)...

3) What if I were a billionaire ? Like you I'm not really very materialistic Grumpy, as long as my family and I have somewhere to stay and enough to eat - I'm not too bothered ! Mind you, that being said, I would love to stay at the sea-side again - If I'd money to burn I would again live back in Helensburgh on the shore road and spend my days listening and watching to the beat, noise and look of the water...

4) Places I have lived ? I have moved about Glasgow mostly apart from staying 5 years in a village in Lanarkshire, Stonehouse , a year in Clonmel, Co. Tipperary, Eire (which I loved). Oh, and a year in Stavanger and Oslo in Norway, where my husband of 20 years was working. Unfortunately the night we arrived he told me he had met someone else 3 weeks previously, so my marriage caved in. I had just arrived with my sons for a year , having rented out our house , nice ! but it was where I grew up and also enjoyed and made good friends which I can still count on nearly 30 years later.

5) Bad Habits ? Plenty of them no doubt, one which comes to mind is picking the sides of my fingers when I have a ragged piece of 'quick' or a ragged 'nail', instead of getting off my whatsit and using an emery board or clippers.....

6) Snacks I like ? a) Jaffa cakes - me too, yummy ! b) Cheese on toast mmmmm! and wait for it -c) Anchovies, I got to be addicted to them in Norway and I have to keep my hands firmly in my pockets when I find myself in the aisle where they are to be found in my local supermarket... Yeah! I know they smell disgusting but I "LOVE" the taste... Oh and goats cheese - yummay!


OK Grumps ? That's me lot ! Hey does this mean I have to pass this on to three other folk ?


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MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE - Yeah Right !!!

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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A blonde finds herself in serious trouble.Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.She begins to pray.....'God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery .'Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins. She again prays.....'God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well. 'Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.Once again, she prays.....'My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order. 'Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the Heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself.....'Sweetheart, work with Me on this.....buy a ticket!'




Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Haggis, Love Kate xxx.