A Company with terrible statistics and a couple of Funnies...

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~ OOOOOHHH Please don't shoot !
Hi Folks,

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following employee statistics:

39 have been accused of spouse abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
9 have been accused of writing bad cheques
17 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year

Which organisation is this? It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranksout hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.What a bunch of b*****ds we have running our country - it says it all. And just to top all that they probably have the best 'corporate' pension scheme in the country!!

HOW ADAM MET EVE......

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling lonely, So God asked him "What's wrong with you "- Adam said he had no one to talk to, God said he was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a Woman.

He said', this pretty lady will gather food and cook it for you and when you discover clothing she will wash it for you . She will always agree with every decision you make and not nag you. She will always be first to admit she was wrong when you have a disagreement. She will praise you !She will bear your children and you will never have to get up in the night to take care of them. She will never have a headache and will freely give you Love and Passion whenever you need it.

So - Adam asked God "What will a woman like this cost me"? God replied - " Oh an arm and a leg " ! Adam then asked "What can I get for a rib? " Of course, the rest is History !

DID YOU KNOW ...

If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95, with HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50,
£1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5,
but if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214.
So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.

OOOOppps...

Cheers from the land of the Tartan and the Heather, Love Kate xxx.